On the Edge of Summer Vacation

The only “real” summer vacation we were able to take as a family was in 2005. Noah was 10, Jonah was 9, Caleb was almost 7, and Jesse and Isaac were just 5. My parents had given us some money for a vacation. Jim was working for a company that didn’t allow 2 weeks of vacation to be taken consecutively, but he didn’t know that when he requested it. And they approved it! It wasn't discovered until he went back to work.

We had also been thinking about Jim resigning from the church he was working part-time. He was working nights at his full-time job, and it was taking its toll on him physically. We were going to pray and talk about it on the trip, and we planned on having a decision made by the time we returned home.

We started our journey from our home in the Kansas City, MO area with a large canvas luggage bag stuffed to the brim on the top of the van, a cooler full of food, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, a portable DVD player and movies, and lots of odds and ends crammed in around us.

Our first stop was Oklahoma City for the first night.  There, we met up with our “brutha from anotha motha.” (I’m sorry I don’t know how to spell that slang correctly!) Having 7 people in your family necessitates more than one room. Jesse, Isaac, Caleb and I stayed in one room, and Zane stayed with Jim, Noah and Jonah in the other room and slept on our new air mattress.

Oh, but here’s the best part of that story! I am the one who shopped for all of our vacation items, and I bought this mattress at Target. I also bought an electronic “blower-upper.” Unfortunately, the only way it worked was to be plugged into the car charger. LOL! So, Jim and Zane were in the parking lot with the van running, and the mattress was getting blown up right there in front of everyone. They had to drag it up the stairs, too!

Ah, vacation.

The next morning, we swam in the indoor pool and had a great time. After breakfast and showers, Jim packed the van up again, and we were on our way to Albuquerque. One of our friends who graduated from college with Jim lived there with his family, and they were our next stop in our journey. It was great to see him and meet his wife and young son. They were gracious and let us stay in their home that night, which was a blessing. I had my first night on the air mattress, and I thought it was pretty comfortable.

The next morning, Jim packed up the van, again, and we headed to Phoenix where my brother and his family lived. As I recall, the van’s temperature gauge indicated it was overheating as we headed up those mountain roads, and I was in a panic. I don’t like being in a car or van when it seems like something might go wrong. Jim kept telling me it was okay, and he was right. That needle had been broken forever!

We spent a couple of days in Phoenix and had a great time. We also were able to see Jim’s best friend from high school, Dan, and his family. It was a good time! Caleb thought it was great because he spent his birthday with Uncle Darrin eating at The Cheesecake Factory.

Then, it was time to drive to Las Vegas. When Jim packed the van, and we left that morning, the temperature was 115 degrees at 11:00. It was miserable! My SIL, Tiffany, was going to Vegas, too, so I rode with her and my sweet little niece the whole way. We had a good time talking and laughing, but by the time we arrived at our destination, she was so sick. She already had a sinus infection/allergy thing going on, so it was probably a good thing I was there with her.

We saw my friend, Julie, and her family there. We hadn’t seen each other for a while at that point, and we had a great time catching up.

Jim, poor Jim, again, packed the van a couple of days later, and we were on the road again to the place that was our “real” destination. Caldwell, Idaho. Where is Caldwell, you might ask. West of Boise. Jim’s family lives there, and he grew up there.

When we drove into the driveway, it was such a relief to know we wouldn't be packing and unpacking the van again for a few days.

We had a great time for the almost-week we were there. We went to the water park, the rodeo, the movies, had cookouts with the family… It was so much fun! And the sad thing is it was the last time we’ve seen them, except for Jim’s mother. We have a large family, and some of the “kids” have graduated from high school and college, one has gotten married and has four kids, and time is continuing to march ahead.

On the way home, we stopped for the night in Wyoming, and my friend, Becky, and her family met us there and stayed at the same motel. By that point, I was getting sick. I knew I had a sinus and/or ear infection. We only stayed one night there, and by the time we left the next morning, I was in bad shape. I couldn't even sit up! Jim ended up having to drive all the way home to MO from WY. And that’s a long drive! And it’s not like me not to drive on a trip. In fact, I usually drive most of the way because I get carsick if I don't.

To say we were thankful to be home is an understatement.

The pastor from our church called the next morning and said he needed to meet with Jim the next day. We thought that would be a good time for him to give his notice. We found out, however, that they had the same idea.

We will never go on another summer vacation quite like that one. Our kids will never be little again, and we won't hang out in the van watching The Lord of the Rings and The Princess Bride constantly. Jim packed/unpacked the van 14 times on that trip. Poor guy.

Given the chance though, we’d do it again in a heartbeat.

But this summer, while I'm looking for a full-time job and revising my book, there will be constant video-game playing, air conditioning, and a possible move to another house. 

In my heart, though, I wish all of us could get in that van and drive.

Church Shouldn't Be a Lonely Place

Confession…

We don’t have a church home.

And it isn’t because we love Jesus less. We just can’t find “the” place where our hearts have found a home.

We have been involved with at least two good churches since coming to Texas, but in the 2-1/2 years we were at one, we didn’t really “do life” with any couples. To clarify, there were four couples we were friends with, but we hardly ever got together. And the reason we met in the first place was because the husbands were in a Bible study together on Saturday mornings. And then:

One couple moved to Oklahoma.

One couple is moving east to be near family.

One couple is moving closer to the husband’s work.

One couple lives a mile from us, but they are so busy with their young family, and he works a lot. Just like Jim.

The other church we were a part of, and even served in, is a wonderful church. But it’s 22 miles from our house, and it’s hard to be involved when you live that far away. There are people from all around the area who attend there, and it really is a great place. We went there for almost a year, serving, too, and we ended up, again, with no friends. Oh, we had acquaintances, but none who really took an interest in our family, who called us up one night and asked if we could meet for dinner, or invited us to their homes.

It’s very lonely going to church when you have no authentic friends.

Living in AR was tough, but one good thing that came out of our time there was friends. We had friends we did life with! They were our family when we were away from ours. We saw them Easter 2012 when Jim was asked to be a part of the Easter service at NLC. When we were standing in the foyer before church, our friends said hello to us as they walked by. Then, they did a double-take when they realized we were actually there in person! It was so great!

Now, I’m not saying this to instigate a pity party. What I am saying is that maybe things should be different.

Maybe when new families come into your church, you should make a point of getting to know them. Don’t just welcome them, make sure they’re saved and baptized, and then request and expect them to serve right away. Sometimes they need some friends to connect with. Serving with friends is so much better than serving without. And it makes you want to serve even more when you think that someone values you for you, not just for what you can do for them.

We are still looking for a place where we can connect. We have visited another church, and we plan on going back. However, it’s almost easier to not go anywhere than to go through the disappointment of not being seen one more time.

And that is just honesty.

Yes, I realize that the Bible says we shouldn’t give up meeting together. But it also says to do life together, and we haven’t found it yet here in Texas. And it's been almost 4 years.

Oh, we will find it again. It’s just taking longer than it ever has.

Age is a Double-Edged Sword

Age is a double-edged sword.

When you’re a young person, you can’t wait to grow up.

I can’t wait to drive.

I can’t wait to date.

I can’t wait to graduate.

I can’t wait to be married.

I can’t wait to buy a house.

I can’t wait to have kids.

I can’t wait to have grandkids.

I can’t wait to die.

Wait! Does anyone really say that last statement?

Desiring to grow up when you’re young is normal. I have never known a child who says “I want to be a kid my whole life!” Though, as an adult, he/she may still act like a child, all the while thinking he is acting like an adult.

I am no different than anyone else. I wanted to grow up and be an adult; I really thought I could handle it. Being in charge of my own life, my own money, my own apartment, it sounded very alluring when I was a teenager. I was considerably mature, had some goals in life, and I thought I could handle it.

Then, Life came along and turned me upside down, shook me hard, and left me broken and bruised, lying on the ground. But I picked myself up, dusted (and dusted) myself off, and I’ve come a long way in those years. Every now and then, though, Life comes back and tries to discourage me again. I’ll admit that sometimes it does, but again, I pick myself up and shake off the dust.

I’m now 47 years old, soon to be 48, and I have discontinued the “I can’t wait” statements after I can’t wait to have kids. I know some people look forward to the next phase in life, having grandkids, but I’m still seated in the chair of wanting my own kids to stay kids, if only a little longer.

I don’t want them to make the same mistakes I did when I was young. I have found, however, that no matter how you might want it for them, they have minds of their own. And wills of their own. And lives of their own. And they have to live with the consequences of their own decisions while parents stand by and watch, wishing all the time that they would have listened to the wisdom that comes from those who have gone through these things before.

But why should we think they would be any different than we were at their age? Did we think Mom and Dad really had the answers to all of life’s questions?

While my parents were not perfect, they were right on many levels.

All I can hope is that someday, my kids, while contemplating the reasons their children do the things they do, look back and say that they learned from us in some fashion. Maybe they’ll wish they would have listened more. Maybe they’ll try to teach their kids not to wish their life away.

And hopefully, they will understand the love it takes to let someone go into this world and make their own mistakes… all the while, lifting them up to the only One who can save them.