I Love Fall But...

If you talk to me, you will hear me say that Fall is my favorite season. I’m not sure why I say that when, traditionally, Fall has been a very hard season for me.

As a student in a new school, and as a 7^th grader, I found out I had Scoliosis.

As a Senior in High School, I had a boyfriend, my parents heard he was “doing drugs,” and they broke up with him on my behalf against my wishes. (As a side note, I’m grateful.)

From 1984-1989, I was living with a man who became my husband and abused me in all ways.

In 1993, I had been married to my new husband for 2 years, he left me for the 4^th time, and I knew it was over that time.

BUT GOD.

It is miraculous how another break in my heart, a crushing blow that told me I wasn’t good enough for anyone, actually broke me and gave me strength to tell the Lord that it didn’t matter if no man every loved me (that was so hard), He did, and that was all that had to matter to me.

It was that Fall my husband turned back to me and Jesus, and it was that Fall that I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life, not just the one who forgave my sins.

So, good things also happen in the Fall…

In 1994 and 1995, I was pregnant with Noah and Jonah respectively.

In 1997, I was pregnant with Caleb.

In 1999, I was pregnant with Jesse and Isaac.

In 2006, we moved from MO to AR, and we left 9 years of life behind.

The rhythms of life…

In 2009, we went through a very hard time in our marriage but stayed together because we knew that God brought us together through miraculous circumstances.

In Fall of 2014, we found out 2 of our sons weren’t making good decisions, and it was so hard.

In Fall of 2015, our oldest son moved out, and our beloved dog, Sophie, passed away.

We never have any money in the Fall. We just scrape by.

This time of year, I find myself more vulnerable to hurt feelings, emotional misunderstandings, and hoping and praying that this will be the year that Fall won’t be a messy one.

There is one thing I know, however. No matter what the days hold, God is always there, and He knows it all. He knows what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen. He holds my life in His hand, and I need to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:25-26 – “No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner because God will be right there with you; He’ll keep you safe and sound.” (The Message Translation)