"Life Code" by Dr. Phil McGraw

It’s been a while since I’ve written a book review, so I decided to write about one of the best books I’ve read lately. It’s called Life Code, and it’s written by Dr. Phil.

Now, we know that he can sometimes be a controversial figure, but I like him.

I was watching TV one day this winter, and he had a couple on the show who were involved with domestic violence. As you might know, I am a survivor of domestic violence, so I am very curious about anything that addresses the subject. Dr. Phil has really put himself out there to help those victims, and even the perpetrators, and I think it’s great.

Anyway, I’m not sure if that was the first time I heard him talk about his new book, Life Code, but I made up my mind I was going to buy it when I could.

And I did.

It’s an awesome book… one I wish I would have had as a young adult. In the first part, he writes about “The Real-World ‘Bad Guys,’” and gives practical ways to see who they are. He calls them “BAITER’s.” Regrettably, I have known some of these people in my life, even let them hurt me severely, and I’m sure you have known some, too. He tackles “The Nefarious 15,” and after reading their characteristics, well, just wow. I think if you aren’t sure whether someone fits into the category of being a Baiter, and you read this, you will definitely know.

The second part addresses how you can win “in the Real World.” He gives advice, counsel, wisdom… whatever you might call it, to succeed in your life. There is even a chapter on parenting, which I definitely appreciated, too.

“Again, I’m not telling you how the world should work, I’m telling you how the world does work.” (p.172)

We are used to “Dr. Philism’s,” as we call them, but really, he does know what he’s talking about.

If you’re young, old, man, woman, whoever you are, this book will be of great value to you if you are willing to look at things with the lens of truth.

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Code-Rules-Winning-World/dp/0985462736/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372476309&sr=8-1&keywords=life+code+dr.+phil 

Friends and Guest Blogger

When we moved to Texas, we moved into a unique situation. We have three families we have known for years… like LOTS of years, who all live in this general area. However, each family lives at least an hour away from us, and in different directions. We don’t see each other often because everyone is busy with their own lives. But it doesn't change the fact we love each other.

Keatha and I decided in January that we would go to lunch once a month. We haven't seen each other since! Good intentions, you know. We went to lunch today, though, and we had a great time talking and laughing and looking at pictures of her trip to Italy. As you know from my previous post, I desperately needed this.

She told me that she wrote another poem, and I asked her if I could read it. She emailed it to me, and it really moved me. So I requested her permission to share it here on my blog, and she agreed to it.

So, thank you, Sweet Friend. You are a beautiful woman, loving wife and mother, and a treasured friend. Oh, and you are so talented, too! :-)

Here it is…

Faith, Dogma, and the Sins of the Mother

(Written by Keatha Frederick)

Faith is a shiny thread running through my life-

inextricable, though I might not want to see-

pulling so tight if I try to run from it,

weaving a net for setting me free.

The Fear of Isaac, the God of Jacob-

Is this who opens a staircase?  For me??

I wrestle with Him, with my past and my future-

my discipline needed, to bring honesty.

My son- he believes that this is all dogma,

a listing of rules to tangle his life.

He has his own notions of God and the universe,

choosing himself what he figures is right.

The universe:  safety- so distant, no pressure-

A “force” that is willing to give what it should.

How do I show him the God who created it,

who’s personal, reaching down,

aching with love?

“The sins of the father”:  yes, they followed Jacob.

He got what he gave, and his children as well.

And now I see my sins-

Repeating, repeating-

A family curse, or just common to man?

Yet faith wove through Jacob,

his children,

their children-

a legacy flowing through imperfect lives.

And it will entangle itself in my family,

tapestry beautiful, darkness with light.

And God, will I finally be, someday, like Jacob?

Limping, yet worshipping you at the end?

Blessing my sons, because You didn’t leave me-

wrapping around me,

pulling me home.

 

Do You Really Know Me?

“Do you know me, Bert? Do you really know me?” (George Bailey)

This is one of my favorite lines from It’s a Wonderful Life. I think we all long for people to really KNOW us.

I’m not saying this to get sympathy from anyone, but here’s the deal.

I’m lonely a lot of the times, and I wish I had some girlfriends to hang out with.

I have friends that I’ve known for a long time, and we would be there in a heartbeat for each other. I have friends I go to Bible study with. However, I don’t have anyone who calls me regularly, just to say hello, to go out to dinner, who invites my family over for a meal. And I have to say that I think it’s really sad. Are people just too busy?

It’s been 7 years since we left Missouri, and I miss my friends. One time, I won some tickets to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I invited some friends, we arrived late and had to sit in the very first rows. While that was physically uncomfortable, it was so much fun. Afterwards, we went out for dinner.

And there was the time my friend, Laura, and I went to see 13 Going on 30 together. We laughed… we cried.  And it was wonderful.

In AR, we had some really good friends, and he was also our pastor. They immediately showed us love, and we became very close in the three years we were there. We even had the same anniversary date, same day and year! So we celebrated a lot together. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays... We miss them terribly. The great thing is when we do see each other, it's like no time ever passed. We'd really like to find friends like that here!

Our quest for finding a church is ongoing, but I think we’ve found a church close to home that we’ll keep attending. Our 17 year-old son even likes it, which I think is a win. I’m really hoping, as I’ve mentioned before, that we find some friends there. So far, the pastors know our names, and that’s about it. But, we’ve only been three times.

Will you do me a big favor? I am going to ask something important of you.

After you read this post, think about it, pray about it, do whatever, but call a friend. Ask how her/his day was. Ask him/her over for dinner, out to a movie, something to show you care.

I’m sure there are lots of people in the world who feel like I do. And YOU can do something about it.

So get out there! Do something worth doing. Show some love to a friend.

You're Never Too Old for Toy Story

“Let’s watch ‘Toy Story!’”

“It’s already 8:00 at night. How about a different day?”

“Okay.”

The next day at 9:00 p.m.

“Hey, let’s watch ‘Toy Story!’”

“Don’t you think it’s a little late for that? Why don’t you ask during the daytime?”

“Okay.”

So, a couple of days later, Jesse asked about the movie during the day, to which I agreed. He started off lying right in the middle of the floor in front of the TV. The next thing I knew, he was in his room doing something. When I looked up again, he had lots of friends with him, each dressed in a special outfit. It was hard not to cry.

My son is 13 years old, and he has proven that, even though he’s all-boy, loves video games, basketball, and going places with his friends, he’s not too old for watching “Toy Story.” And that makes me happy.

For it seems like life is going by so quickly, and it was just yesterday that he and his twin brother were born. Now they are 13, and they have friends who are girls and have been caught up in middle school drama. They go to school dances, talk on the phone, and chat on Skype.

But every now and then, there is this passing glimpse of the little boys who always talked about “Lellow” (Woody) and “Lee” (Buzz). I’m glad they still love the movie and the characters. I’m thankful that Jesse still has his Woody doll, and he watched the movie with Jesse that day. There is still a softness to his heart that I appreciate and hope he always keeps.

We had a good time that day. It’s a good thing we only got through numbers 1 and 2. If I would have been subject to watching number 3, I might have cried… more than I did.

 

Summer and a Clean Kitchen

I have five sons, and they were all born within a 5 year period. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Is she nuts?” Er, I refuse to answer that question. :-)

Well, when they were young, like 5, 4, 2, and 2 babies, things were wildly busy. We had a schedule, though, and somehow, I had a clean house almost all the time. They got up at 6am, but they went to bed at 7pm. That’s when I folded all of the laundry and cleaned the kitchen. I usually took a nap when they did in the afternoon, too, which I think protected my sanity.

Now that they are 18, 17, 15, and 2-13 year-olds, things aren’t so “programmed.”

I have taught them how to do most every household chore there is. And having a large family, we all work together to accomplish what needs to be done. I’m not saying it’s easy to get them to do those things, but most times, they do a great job.

I know there are some parents who don't ask their children to help out with chores around the house, and that is up to them. However, I believe I would have crippled my boys if they didn't grow up knowing the work it takes to live in the real world. There isn't always going to be someone there to cook and clean up after them... or do their laundry! Isaac even knows how to sew after taking Family & Consumer Science in school. I think learning the processes can only help them in their lives.

I’ve heard it said that we aren’t raising children; we’re raising adults. That used to bother me greatly, and I can’t even tell you why. But I understand it now.

This summer, I wrote a list of everything that is done on a normal basis around the house. Interestingly, there were 5 major things: cleaning their bathroom, picking up the living room, sweeping the floors, cleaning the kitchen, and taking care of the dogs. Then, I scheduled an “activity” for each day for each of them, and I hung these lists inside the pantry door. For fun, I even gave everyone their own color. Fortunately, the “taking care of the dogs” has been in effect for quite some time, so I built everything else around that.

This is what I’ve found: No one has complained. No one has shirked their responsibilities. All of them have done very well with what they were doing.

Is it because they know what’s expected of them each day? Is it because they don’t feel the need to argue about it with their brothers because it’s written down?

I don’t really know. But I can tell you that it’s working. And I’m really glad. (And yes, I do know it’s only been a week!)

The only days that no one is scheduled for working is weekends. Then, we have weekly duties that we are all going to work together to complete. No one has said a harsh word about it yet! My husband even unloaded and loaded the dishwasher this morning! I didn’t have to ask anyone to do it, or even do it myself.

So, even though they are older, maybe there is still something to living life on a schedule. Maybe it teaches discipline and order and responsibility.

I don’t know, but I’m not complaining! And neither are they, which makes life in the summer a little more relaxed.