2 blogs. 2 very different subjects. 1 very complex woman. What to do, what to do...
Back in my younger years, in fact, when I was 18, the age of my oldest son... I made some very stupid mistakes and became involved with a man who almost killed me. That sounds very dramatic, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it's the truth.
Several years ago, I created a blog to write about my experiences with it. For many years, I couldn't speak about it because of the shame and heartbreak it caused me. I think the hardest thing for me to face was the fact that I sold myself short. I wanted someone to love me so badly that I settled for someone who was not good for me... someone who wasn't who God has planned for me to marry. But I did it anyway.
So, out there in cyberspace lies a blog about domestic violence. It has stories that are true, yet unbelievable. Stories that are raw and sad, but it was my reality for six years. And while I'm not proud of what happened during that time, I am convinced that telling my story might help someone else get out of their living hell. If even only one person is saved, it's worth it.
I'm trying to decide what to do with that blog, http://leavingdvbehind.blogspot.com. I had actually compiled the stories into a manuscript, but it was lost in the big computer crash three years ago. And there, lying within the confines of my blog, I found my writings and were thankful they were saved. I've recently written another post and renamed the blog.
Because I also wrote a fictional story revolving around the subject of domestic violence, though the story doesn't necessarily focus on it, I've let the REAL story go... kind of. While the situations in my yet unpublished book, Around the Next Corner, are not based on real people or situations, the qualities of several characters are me. And the situations are fictional, but they could be true. I wonder what would happen if I try writing the real story again.
How different might it be from the last time I wrote it?
Well, for now, I'm going to keep these two blogs separate, but when my book is published, and I say that with determination and belief, I'll combine the two. Maybe.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
"Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst
Have you ever wanted to put your head inside a very large purse and just SCREAM?Okay, I confess. I just finished this book, although our Bible study ended in January. I know I'm behind, but when I started working... Blah, blah, blah. I started working AFTER we were supposed to finish the book. So, that's really not a good excuse.
I'm not even sure what happened! Was it the depression that sunk in after graduation? Was it the coming-down feeling after the holidays? Was it the anxiety of the 5+ weeks between my husband's teacher paychecks from Dec - Jan? I really can't say, except for maybe all of it combined was just too much for me to handle. I was spending most mornings sleeping until noon, and when I got up, I played Bejeweled most of the afternoon. I would drag myself in to take a shower right before my kids got home from school.
And then, God blessed me with a really good job, though it's temporary, and my outlook on life shifted back to the land of the living. I began taking "Unglued" with me to work every day, and I read it (even reread a few chapters) when I stayed in for lunch. I even used my highlighter in some chapters of the book, which is highly unlikely for me. I used to highlight when I read, but I stopped for some reason... Hmmmmm.
So, I have to write about some specific things that I found out in this book. One thing that was very interesting to me was found in the back in the Appendix. There, on pages 194-196, I found out that I'm prone to being an "Internal Processor" and an "Internal Suppressor." What this means is that I'm a "Stuffer that builds barriers." Now, whether I "secretly" knew that or not, I'm not sure, but it was like a bell chimed quietly inside me.
In my own defense, I have had some rather difficult situations in my life. Thinking back on some of them now, I think I learned to not say anything in fear of retaliation when someone hurts me.
Tell someone they hurt your feelings, and they aren't your friend anymore.
Tell someone you love that you were hurt by their actions (or inactions), and they blame you for it.
The funny, yet interesting thing is that on the other side of the "Internal Processor" is the "External Suppressor," and at the heart of that intersection is the "Exploder that shames herself." Ouch, and that was me for a long time. It obviously didn't work too well, so I must have stopped at one point and changed over to the "other side." But I found that doesn't work well, either.
Building barriers with people you love and care about is not a good idea if you expect your relationships to flourish. Being aware of it does help when you are tempted to go to one place or another.
So, while I read this book, I found a few passages that screamed out my name.
"I've stopped positioning my life for miracles. In relation to my unglued struggles, somewhere along the line I stopped expecting God to work miraculously in me." (p.126)
Wow... when I examined myself in relation to those statements, I found that I was right there with Lysa.
"In short, God designed our bodies to respond to our thoughts. Negative thoughts lead to a crisis response - activating us physically but hindering our thinking. Positive thoughts allow us to process a situation accurately and respond in a healthy way." (p.143)
Negative thoughts has where I have found myself "naturally" gravitating towards.
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm not worthy of having good friends."
"I'm not..."
I find that if I am keenly aware of this shortcoming in myself, I can call it what it is. Maybe I can get out sooner than later.
There is so much I could say about this book, but I'm going to let it speak for itself. I would wholeheartedly recommend "Unglued" to everyone. While it was written for women, I think men would get something out of it, as well. And if you really want your life to change, you will be looking for resources full of life-giving wisdom to guide and help you. This book would most definitely be one to do it.
(image is from www.dayspring.com)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Query Letters and Me
I'm in the process of researching agents, literary agencies, etc. I have come up with what I think is a decent query letter. Each of the agents ask for different information, so it's tough to write in template form...
"Annie finds out that things are not always what they appear to be, and even though she is surprised and caught off-guard, she learns unexpected blessings can be waiting around the next corner."
My book centers on the epidemic of domestic violence. The story begins when Annie Phillips, who lives in Denver, receives a phone call that her sister, Piper, who lives in Boston, has disappeared. She immediately makes plans to travel to Boston to search for Piper. Their sister, Patty Baker, who lives in Springfield, IL, and brother, Paul, who lives in Indianapolis, meet Annie in the Chicago airport, and the three travel on to MA. They meet Piper’s boss, Ben Marshall, who gets his friend, Ted Young, who is a PI, to assist them, and the five go on a journey to find Piper. This is the first book of several in the series about the Phillips family and the effects that domestic violence has on individuals.
My name is Christina Hammer, and I am a 23-year survivor of domestic violence. I am very passionate about helping DV victims rebuild their lives. I have been writing short stories and poems since I was very young, though I am unpublished at this time. I recently graduated from Texas Woman's University (after starting my college journey in 1990) with a Bachelors in General Studies with emphasis in English and Sociology. I am looking forward to publishing my first book, including the process."
They also might ask for several pages (or chapters) of the book, so here is the first ten pages of my book, "Around the Next Corner."
"CHAPTER ONE
Crimson and auburn leaves from the vibrant maple trees abandoned their source of life and twirled in the blustery wind flowing into the valley. Annie stood by her front door and watched as the yellow school bus disappeared, leaving the most valuable of parcels on the sidewalks. The cheerful orange bowl was strategically placed on the side table by her front door and held an assortment of candies. She turned on the porch light, locked the screen door, and walked into the large and very cozy living room. The outdoor surroundings reminded her of a Norman Rockwell-like scene, as she observed from the sizeable window in her townhouse. Annie smiled, sipped her hot chocolate, and anticipated an eventful night. She sat down in her favorite chair with an old photo album and waited. It was Halloween, All-Hallows Eve, October thirty-first. This was one of Annie’s favorite nights, not only because of the excitement from the costumes and candy, but because of the memories it brought back from growing up in a small Kansas town.
Annie’s mother, Debbie, usually designed and created the Halloween costumes for her kids each year. She started preparing just after Labor Day, which only sparked the expectations. Part of the fun was that Halloween wasn’t just one day for them; it lasted for weeks! The commercial and historical meaning of Halloween wasn’t important to them; the most important part was the special costumes their mother so lovingly crafted for them. Bill, Annie’s father, and Debbie escorted their kids around their neighborhood each year so they could trick-or-treat. And sometimes, they even dressed in costumes, too.
As Annie scanned her photo album and listened to The Weather Channel, she lingered especially on the pictures displaying her parents. As her finger caressed a picture of Debbie’s face, a tear formed in her eye. She missed them; she always missed them during special occasions, especially Halloween.
The doorbell rang, and Annie quickly, but carefully, closed the cherished album, placed her cup on the side table, and wiped her eyes with the backs of both hands. Her little dog, Chuckles, a Pomeranian/Yorkie mix, a “Porkie,” as he was called, was the first one to the door. Annie’s excitement was growing inside as she galloped toward the door. She believed it was almost as fun to give the treats out as it was to receive them.
Annie threw the door open with a teasing smile, and said, “Hey, kids! What’s goin’ on?”
“Trick or treat!” The four of them squealed in unity. The nurse and her patient, Rocky, and Bullwinkle were Annie’s neighbor’s kids.
Annie dropped a handful of candy into each of their bags, as they crouched down to pet Chuckles. Annie waved to Carole, their mother, who was waiting on the sidewalk.
“You kids be good! And be careful!” Annie added.
“Thank you, Miss Annie! Bye, Chuckles!” And they all scurried away.
“See you soon, Carole!” Annie yelled into the wind. Carole waved back, as the kids grabbed her hands and continued to run down the sidewalk.
When Annie didn’t see anyone else coming at that point, she closed the door and sat back down. The weather anchor was warning the viewers of a snowstorm that was headed straight into Denver. It was to arrive in a couple of days, and Annie started panicking when she remembered that her car had not been winterized yet. She was so busy with work that she completely forgot about getting it done.
“What about that, Chuckles?” Annie asked the fluffy little dog, as he looked out of the window again.
Before she forgot about it again, Annie went into the kitchen and picked up the notepad on the refrigerator. As she pulled the pen out of the drawer and started writing herself a reminder to get it done, her home phone rang. None of her friends used that number, so it was mainly solicitors and people she didn’t necessarily know. She only needed that line for internet purposes, and she never expected any calls from it. Annie didn’t recognize the number from the caller ID, but she did recognize 617 as from the Boston area, where her sister, Piper, lived. However, Annie thought if it was Piper, she would surely have called from her cell phone.
“Hello?” Annie asked hesitantly.
“Um, hello… Is this Annie Phillips?” The male voice on the other end inquired.
“May I ask who’s calling please?” She queried, not wanting to give out too much information.
“Well, this is Ben Marshall. I’m looking for the sister, Annie Phillips, of one of my employees,” he offered.
“Who is your employee?” Annie questioned.
“My employee’s name is Piper Phillips, and she left this number to call in case of an emergency, Ma’am. If you aren’t Annie Phillips, I’m sorry for bothering you,” Ben stated.
“No, Mr. Marshall,” she said. “I am Annie Phillips, but I wanted to verify your identity because my friends don’t necessarily use this number.”
“Oh, I understand, Ms. Phillips. I’m calling about your sister, Piper,” he offered.
“What happened?” Annie asked, feeling her pulse rise. “You can call me Annie, but is my sister okay?”
“Ms. Phillips, um, Annie, that’s why I’m calling. Piper has had some, let’s say, struggles, lately, and she gave me explicit instructions to call only you if I hadn’t heard from her for a period of time… and that specific period has passed,” he said.
“I’m sorry that I really don’t know what to say. All I can tell you is that she hasn’t been at work all week, and I haven’t heard from her, either, which is concerning me.”
“Well, why didn’t you call me before now, Mr. Marshall?” Annie asked, trying to keep her rising hysteria to a low level.
“Annie, please call me Ben. I am only following Piper’s instructions, and I’m sorry,” he said. “But she had specific guidelines.”
“Okay… Mr., Ben… Okay…” Annie answered, not quite sure what to do. “Alright, Ben, are you telling me that my sister is…missing?”
“Well, yes, Annie, I am telling you that I believe that Piper is missing,” he said. “I don’t know that for sure, but I haven’t heard from her for a week, and her cell phone appears to have been disconnected.”
The panic continued rising in Annie.
Think, Annie… think!
“Ben, I’m going to have to call you back,” Annie said, trying to not cry. “Please give me your number,” and she wrote it down as her hand continued to shake. “Is this your cell phone number, or is it a work number?”
“This is my work number I’m calling from, but I will give you both numbers,” Ben said.
Annie thanked him for his call, told him she would call him back in a few minutes, and they hung up.
Think! Think!
She didn’t even know where to begin.
Just then, the doorbell pierced the silence, Chuckles barked excitedly, and Annie walked slowly to the door. Composing herself, she unlocked the door and opened it to see Spiderman, and couple of ballerinas.
“Trick or treat!” They screeched. Annie attempted to smile and mindlessly threw some candy in their bags. She waved at the woman in the street, who was obviously their parent. After the kids were safely back with their parent, she closed and locked both the screen door and the inside door. Annie also turned off the porch light to signal she was out of candy, which technically wasn’t true.
Annie went back into the kitchen, and leaned on the cabinet, head down.
What happened to Piper? What should I do? My cell phone! Where is it?
Chuckles had followed her, and now lay by her feet.
She went back to the living room, closed the blinds, and rummaged through her purse. When Annie found her phone, she sat down and thought about whether to call her sister or brother. She didn’t wait long before nervously dialing the cell phone number for her sister, Patty.
“Patty?” It’s me, Pip,” Annie said, trying to contain her anxiety of the news she had to deliver to her sister.
Annie’s brother, Paul, was the first baby born to Bill and Debbie Phillips, and he was actually almost an only child. They had almost given up hope of having another baby, but when Paul was almost ten, he received a little sister, Patricia, for Christmas. Piper was born three years later, and Annie was born four years after Piper. Even though all of the Phillips children were special, Annie was considered a blessing because she was an unexpected gift. There was fifteen years difference between Annie and Paul, but her older brother always made her feel that she was an integral part of his life, just as he did with Patty and Piper.
Interestingly, Bill, and Debbie didn’t continue their pattern of “P” names. Annie was sure they had their private reasons, but Bill and Debbie told everyone it was because the name, Annie Daniella, means “Grace, favored, and miracle.” So, when she was just a baby, her siblings gave her the name of Pippy, just so her name would fit in with theirs. No one, except family, ever knew her as Pippy.
She couldn’t get the words out before the sobs started deep inside her throat.
“What is it? Pip, you’re scaring me,” Patty said nervously.
“Okay… Okay…” Annie said, trying to contain her emotions.
She relayed to Patty the story Ben Marshall had communicated to her when he called, and then she asked her sister what they were going to do. Of course, Patty, too, was at a loss. Obviously, someone was going to have to make the trip to Boston and search for Piper. Who was it going to be?
Patty was a wife and mother, so it was going to be nearly impossible for her leave her family to go to Boston. As for Paul, he had a busy job, so Annie didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to go, either. Fortunately, Annie had several weeks of vacation pay built up, but she didn’t know if she could leave on such short notice.
Annie told Patty that she would call her back, and she immediately called her boss and best friend, Sarah. She relayed to Sarah the whole story that Ben had given her, and then explained the reasons Paul and Patty couldn’t travel to Boston.
“Annie, seriously, calm down for a minute,” Sarah said. “Listen, whatever you need, just do it. Work is slow right now, and I’ll put in your vacation days right now. You have like six weeks built up anyway. Plan on leaving tomorrow morning. Come by the office at 10:00, and I’ll take care of having your ticket information and papers ready for you to sign,” Sarah said, taking charge. “It’ll be okay. Can I help you pack tonight? Do you need help?”
“I’m sure I’ll be okay tonight, but could you please take care of Chuckles while I’m gone?” Annie asked. “Would that be okay? Oh, can you check on my place, too?” she added.
“Ann, don’t worry… I’ll pick Chuckles up tomorrow after work and take him home with me, and yes, I will check on your place,” Sarah said. “Whatever you need.”
After they hung up, Annie’s cell phone rang, and it was Paul. She couldn’t even say hello, as the sobs started again.
“Listen, Pip, I need to check with my company, but I’m pretty sure that I can get off for a few days, so I should be able to meet you there,” he said.
Annie was relieved to know she wouldn’t be alone as she searched for what had happened to her sister, especially in a city she didn’t know.
She returned the call to Ben Marshall and informed him she would be arriving in Boston sometime the next day, and she would let him know exactly when. He gave her the address to the office, and she filed it carefully in her purse, along with all of the other information and phone numbers she had.
After Annie packed, she sat back down in her living room. Chuckles jumped up on her lap, snuggling between her leg and the chair. As she stroked his soft hair and watched him fall asleep, she closed her eyes while her mind went back to the sound of Ben Marshall’s voice telling her he believed Piper was missing. Annie knew there were some things she probably didn’t know about her older sister because she had been less than forthcoming with the details of her life lately. No one in the family really understood why, so this would be an eye-opening trip… if they could even find Piper.
Was she running away from something? What was it?
CHAPTER TWO
Annie experienced a very restless evening. She went to bed later than usual, and then she lay in bed for most of the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling, watching the clock as the minutes ticked by endlessly.
When she got up early the next morning, Annie bundled herself up and took Chuckles for a run. She knew it was cold, but she needed to do something to help her feel better. By the time they returned home, it was time to pack the rest of her clothes, shower, and get ready to go to the office. Before she went to the front door with her suitcase, Annie picked Chuckles up, hugged him tight, and told him that she would be home soon.
At least I hope I will.
She also had a distinct feeling that things wouldn’t be the same when she returned. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen in Boston, but whatever it was, she knew that she would be different somehow.
Driving to the office seemed to take forever, though it was only about a fifteen minute drive from the townhouse Annie had purchased two years prior. It was a new construction, was in an excellent location, as it was close to church and work, and she had neighbors who were also her friends. She truly believed that God gave her a job in Denver for a reason, and she was definitely not disappointed with her life there.
Annie grew up in a very close-knit family. Her parents were married when they were just out of high school, and they were married for over forty years. Unfortunately, a horrific car accident stole their lives too soon just a few years earlier. It was right after Annie graduated from college and moved to Denver. It was a rainy night, a wrong-way driver, and a steep embankment. And they were gone. Just like that.
Being a Christ-follower, she had hope that she would see them again, in eternity, but it’s difficult for a young woman, who has yet to be married and have babies, to be without her mom and dad. It was a very tough situation. There wasn’t a day that went by that Annie didn’t think of them. And sometimes she questioned God as to why this happened to her family, but she always received the same answer.
Why NOT you?
God must have thought she could handle the trials that came her way, and she clung to the verses in James that say, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you will be mature and complete, no lacking anything.”
Okay, Lord, I’m going to try to trust You."
"Annie finds out that things are not always what they appear to be, and even though she is surprised and caught off-guard, she learns unexpected blessings can be waiting around the next corner."
My book centers on the epidemic of domestic violence. The story begins when Annie Phillips, who lives in Denver, receives a phone call that her sister, Piper, who lives in Boston, has disappeared. She immediately makes plans to travel to Boston to search for Piper. Their sister, Patty Baker, who lives in Springfield, IL, and brother, Paul, who lives in Indianapolis, meet Annie in the Chicago airport, and the three travel on to MA. They meet Piper’s boss, Ben Marshall, who gets his friend, Ted Young, who is a PI, to assist them, and the five go on a journey to find Piper. This is the first book of several in the series about the Phillips family and the effects that domestic violence has on individuals.
My name is Christina Hammer, and I am a 23-year survivor of domestic violence. I am very passionate about helping DV victims rebuild their lives. I have been writing short stories and poems since I was very young, though I am unpublished at this time. I recently graduated from Texas Woman's University (after starting my college journey in 1990) with a Bachelors in General Studies with emphasis in English and Sociology. I am looking forward to publishing my first book, including the process."
They also might ask for several pages (or chapters) of the book, so here is the first ten pages of my book, "Around the Next Corner."
"CHAPTER ONE
Crimson and auburn leaves from the vibrant maple trees abandoned their source of life and twirled in the blustery wind flowing into the valley. Annie stood by her front door and watched as the yellow school bus disappeared, leaving the most valuable of parcels on the sidewalks. The cheerful orange bowl was strategically placed on the side table by her front door and held an assortment of candies. She turned on the porch light, locked the screen door, and walked into the large and very cozy living room. The outdoor surroundings reminded her of a Norman Rockwell-like scene, as she observed from the sizeable window in her townhouse. Annie smiled, sipped her hot chocolate, and anticipated an eventful night. She sat down in her favorite chair with an old photo album and waited. It was Halloween, All-Hallows Eve, October thirty-first. This was one of Annie’s favorite nights, not only because of the excitement from the costumes and candy, but because of the memories it brought back from growing up in a small Kansas town.
Annie’s mother, Debbie, usually designed and created the Halloween costumes for her kids each year. She started preparing just after Labor Day, which only sparked the expectations. Part of the fun was that Halloween wasn’t just one day for them; it lasted for weeks! The commercial and historical meaning of Halloween wasn’t important to them; the most important part was the special costumes their mother so lovingly crafted for them. Bill, Annie’s father, and Debbie escorted their kids around their neighborhood each year so they could trick-or-treat. And sometimes, they even dressed in costumes, too.
As Annie scanned her photo album and listened to The Weather Channel, she lingered especially on the pictures displaying her parents. As her finger caressed a picture of Debbie’s face, a tear formed in her eye. She missed them; she always missed them during special occasions, especially Halloween.
The doorbell rang, and Annie quickly, but carefully, closed the cherished album, placed her cup on the side table, and wiped her eyes with the backs of both hands. Her little dog, Chuckles, a Pomeranian/Yorkie mix, a “Porkie,” as he was called, was the first one to the door. Annie’s excitement was growing inside as she galloped toward the door. She believed it was almost as fun to give the treats out as it was to receive them.
Annie threw the door open with a teasing smile, and said, “Hey, kids! What’s goin’ on?”
“Trick or treat!” The four of them squealed in unity. The nurse and her patient, Rocky, and Bullwinkle were Annie’s neighbor’s kids.
Annie dropped a handful of candy into each of their bags, as they crouched down to pet Chuckles. Annie waved to Carole, their mother, who was waiting on the sidewalk.
“You kids be good! And be careful!” Annie added.
“Thank you, Miss Annie! Bye, Chuckles!” And they all scurried away.
“See you soon, Carole!” Annie yelled into the wind. Carole waved back, as the kids grabbed her hands and continued to run down the sidewalk.
When Annie didn’t see anyone else coming at that point, she closed the door and sat back down. The weather anchor was warning the viewers of a snowstorm that was headed straight into Denver. It was to arrive in a couple of days, and Annie started panicking when she remembered that her car had not been winterized yet. She was so busy with work that she completely forgot about getting it done.
“What about that, Chuckles?” Annie asked the fluffy little dog, as he looked out of the window again.
Before she forgot about it again, Annie went into the kitchen and picked up the notepad on the refrigerator. As she pulled the pen out of the drawer and started writing herself a reminder to get it done, her home phone rang. None of her friends used that number, so it was mainly solicitors and people she didn’t necessarily know. She only needed that line for internet purposes, and she never expected any calls from it. Annie didn’t recognize the number from the caller ID, but she did recognize 617 as from the Boston area, where her sister, Piper, lived. However, Annie thought if it was Piper, she would surely have called from her cell phone.
“Hello?” Annie asked hesitantly.
“Um, hello… Is this Annie Phillips?” The male voice on the other end inquired.
“May I ask who’s calling please?” She queried, not wanting to give out too much information.
“Well, this is Ben Marshall. I’m looking for the sister, Annie Phillips, of one of my employees,” he offered.
“Who is your employee?” Annie questioned.
“My employee’s name is Piper Phillips, and she left this number to call in case of an emergency, Ma’am. If you aren’t Annie Phillips, I’m sorry for bothering you,” Ben stated.
“No, Mr. Marshall,” she said. “I am Annie Phillips, but I wanted to verify your identity because my friends don’t necessarily use this number.”
“Oh, I understand, Ms. Phillips. I’m calling about your sister, Piper,” he offered.
“What happened?” Annie asked, feeling her pulse rise. “You can call me Annie, but is my sister okay?”
“Ms. Phillips, um, Annie, that’s why I’m calling. Piper has had some, let’s say, struggles, lately, and she gave me explicit instructions to call only you if I hadn’t heard from her for a period of time… and that specific period has passed,” he said.
“I’m sorry that I really don’t know what to say. All I can tell you is that she hasn’t been at work all week, and I haven’t heard from her, either, which is concerning me.”
“Well, why didn’t you call me before now, Mr. Marshall?” Annie asked, trying to keep her rising hysteria to a low level.
“Annie, please call me Ben. I am only following Piper’s instructions, and I’m sorry,” he said. “But she had specific guidelines.”
“Okay… Mr., Ben… Okay…” Annie answered, not quite sure what to do. “Alright, Ben, are you telling me that my sister is…missing?”
“Well, yes, Annie, I am telling you that I believe that Piper is missing,” he said. “I don’t know that for sure, but I haven’t heard from her for a week, and her cell phone appears to have been disconnected.”
The panic continued rising in Annie.
Think, Annie… think!
“Ben, I’m going to have to call you back,” Annie said, trying to not cry. “Please give me your number,” and she wrote it down as her hand continued to shake. “Is this your cell phone number, or is it a work number?”
“This is my work number I’m calling from, but I will give you both numbers,” Ben said.
Annie thanked him for his call, told him she would call him back in a few minutes, and they hung up.
Think! Think!
She didn’t even know where to begin.
Just then, the doorbell pierced the silence, Chuckles barked excitedly, and Annie walked slowly to the door. Composing herself, she unlocked the door and opened it to see Spiderman, and couple of ballerinas.
“Trick or treat!” They screeched. Annie attempted to smile and mindlessly threw some candy in their bags. She waved at the woman in the street, who was obviously their parent. After the kids were safely back with their parent, she closed and locked both the screen door and the inside door. Annie also turned off the porch light to signal she was out of candy, which technically wasn’t true.
Annie went back into the kitchen, and leaned on the cabinet, head down.
What happened to Piper? What should I do? My cell phone! Where is it?
Chuckles had followed her, and now lay by her feet.
She went back to the living room, closed the blinds, and rummaged through her purse. When Annie found her phone, she sat down and thought about whether to call her sister or brother. She didn’t wait long before nervously dialing the cell phone number for her sister, Patty.
“Patty?” It’s me, Pip,” Annie said, trying to contain her anxiety of the news she had to deliver to her sister.
Annie’s brother, Paul, was the first baby born to Bill and Debbie Phillips, and he was actually almost an only child. They had almost given up hope of having another baby, but when Paul was almost ten, he received a little sister, Patricia, for Christmas. Piper was born three years later, and Annie was born four years after Piper. Even though all of the Phillips children were special, Annie was considered a blessing because she was an unexpected gift. There was fifteen years difference between Annie and Paul, but her older brother always made her feel that she was an integral part of his life, just as he did with Patty and Piper.
Interestingly, Bill, and Debbie didn’t continue their pattern of “P” names. Annie was sure they had their private reasons, but Bill and Debbie told everyone it was because the name, Annie Daniella, means “Grace, favored, and miracle.” So, when she was just a baby, her siblings gave her the name of Pippy, just so her name would fit in with theirs. No one, except family, ever knew her as Pippy.
She couldn’t get the words out before the sobs started deep inside her throat.
“What is it? Pip, you’re scaring me,” Patty said nervously.
“Okay… Okay…” Annie said, trying to contain her emotions.
She relayed to Patty the story Ben Marshall had communicated to her when he called, and then she asked her sister what they were going to do. Of course, Patty, too, was at a loss. Obviously, someone was going to have to make the trip to Boston and search for Piper. Who was it going to be?
Patty was a wife and mother, so it was going to be nearly impossible for her leave her family to go to Boston. As for Paul, he had a busy job, so Annie didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to go, either. Fortunately, Annie had several weeks of vacation pay built up, but she didn’t know if she could leave on such short notice.
Annie told Patty that she would call her back, and she immediately called her boss and best friend, Sarah. She relayed to Sarah the whole story that Ben had given her, and then explained the reasons Paul and Patty couldn’t travel to Boston.
“Annie, seriously, calm down for a minute,” Sarah said. “Listen, whatever you need, just do it. Work is slow right now, and I’ll put in your vacation days right now. You have like six weeks built up anyway. Plan on leaving tomorrow morning. Come by the office at 10:00, and I’ll take care of having your ticket information and papers ready for you to sign,” Sarah said, taking charge. “It’ll be okay. Can I help you pack tonight? Do you need help?”
“I’m sure I’ll be okay tonight, but could you please take care of Chuckles while I’m gone?” Annie asked. “Would that be okay? Oh, can you check on my place, too?” she added.
“Ann, don’t worry… I’ll pick Chuckles up tomorrow after work and take him home with me, and yes, I will check on your place,” Sarah said. “Whatever you need.”
After they hung up, Annie’s cell phone rang, and it was Paul. She couldn’t even say hello, as the sobs started again.
“Listen, Pip, I need to check with my company, but I’m pretty sure that I can get off for a few days, so I should be able to meet you there,” he said.
Annie was relieved to know she wouldn’t be alone as she searched for what had happened to her sister, especially in a city she didn’t know.
She returned the call to Ben Marshall and informed him she would be arriving in Boston sometime the next day, and she would let him know exactly when. He gave her the address to the office, and she filed it carefully in her purse, along with all of the other information and phone numbers she had.
After Annie packed, she sat back down in her living room. Chuckles jumped up on her lap, snuggling between her leg and the chair. As she stroked his soft hair and watched him fall asleep, she closed her eyes while her mind went back to the sound of Ben Marshall’s voice telling her he believed Piper was missing. Annie knew there were some things she probably didn’t know about her older sister because she had been less than forthcoming with the details of her life lately. No one in the family really understood why, so this would be an eye-opening trip… if they could even find Piper.
Was she running away from something? What was it?
CHAPTER TWO
Annie experienced a very restless evening. She went to bed later than usual, and then she lay in bed for most of the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling, watching the clock as the minutes ticked by endlessly.
When she got up early the next morning, Annie bundled herself up and took Chuckles for a run. She knew it was cold, but she needed to do something to help her feel better. By the time they returned home, it was time to pack the rest of her clothes, shower, and get ready to go to the office. Before she went to the front door with her suitcase, Annie picked Chuckles up, hugged him tight, and told him that she would be home soon.
At least I hope I will.
She also had a distinct feeling that things wouldn’t be the same when she returned. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen in Boston, but whatever it was, she knew that she would be different somehow.
Driving to the office seemed to take forever, though it was only about a fifteen minute drive from the townhouse Annie had purchased two years prior. It was a new construction, was in an excellent location, as it was close to church and work, and she had neighbors who were also her friends. She truly believed that God gave her a job in Denver for a reason, and she was definitely not disappointed with her life there.
Annie grew up in a very close-knit family. Her parents were married when they were just out of high school, and they were married for over forty years. Unfortunately, a horrific car accident stole their lives too soon just a few years earlier. It was right after Annie graduated from college and moved to Denver. It was a rainy night, a wrong-way driver, and a steep embankment. And they were gone. Just like that.
Being a Christ-follower, she had hope that she would see them again, in eternity, but it’s difficult for a young woman, who has yet to be married and have babies, to be without her mom and dad. It was a very tough situation. There wasn’t a day that went by that Annie didn’t think of them. And sometimes she questioned God as to why this happened to her family, but she always received the same answer.
Why NOT you?
God must have thought she could handle the trials that came her way, and she clung to the verses in James that say, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you will be mature and complete, no lacking anything.”
Okay, Lord, I’m going to try to trust You."
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Getting Excited Again!
So, today I went through my handwritten notes I wrote when I was talking on the phone to Michelle. And I typed them. Yes, perfectionist at work! Actually, I typed them so I could remember everything she said. My writing was so "hodge-podge," and I needed to organize it. So, I did. I became excited again as I read through what she told me!
The possibility my book could be on bookshelves sometime this year really just makes me want to cry. I have wanted this for so long, but there have been times I have been discouraged and quit dreaming. Fortunately, I think I'm back to dreaming again, but knowing these dreams really could come true.
And after being on the book-launch for Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms," and sharing my dreams with the launch team, Jill said she'd be happy to give me some counsel, too. What a blessing that is! So, I would certainly say it's been a good week here for me. I know that not all weeks will be like this, but for now, I'm basking in the excitement and encouragement I've received. It's been good for my soul, for sure.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
What are we...if we don't Dream?
Last fall, I won a contest through a Twitter contest from Samsung. The contest was hashtagged #DontWait, and I wrote that I wanted to be a published author. I won a Samsung tablet and a meeting with someone in the literary arena. I received the tablet close to Christmas, and today was the day I spoke with Author, Michelle Richmond. And I have to say... It was AWESOME! She was knowledgeable, smart, and fun.
It's not very often an opportunity like that comes around. I had several questions I wanted to ask her, and she willingly answered all of them. I'm even more excited to continue on my journey of getting my first book published. And, more than ever, I'm seriously believing it will happen. After all, it's already been written, and I have the Publishing Contract right here!
I like what my son, Jonah said. He's home today after going to the doctor, and I told him that I was more nervous before talking to Michelle than I was when I went for my job interview. He said something so profound.
"It's because this is bigger."
That is the truth. So, thank you, Michelle, for your time, and using your talent and abilities to help a dreaming girl (or middle-aged woman) to pursue her lifelong goal of becoming a published author. I really appreciate it!
You can check out Michelle's website at http://michellerichmond.com/
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