Homeless in October

Have you ever been homeless?

I mean the kind of homeless where you don’t have any place to call your own. Where you don’t even have a friend’s sofa to sleep on at night. Where you can’t even take a shower, or curl up in a blanket to get warm.

Homeless.

Looking at me now, you would probably never guess that I was actually homeless for a period of time in my “former life.” (My former life is when I was a young adult involved in a violent and abusive relationship.)

I lost my job because I called in sick too much.

I was very good at my job, but I called in too much.

After I was fired, I went back to a part-time job working for a stationery store at the mall for $3.35/hour. I worked four miles from my apartment and didn’t have a car. I walked home alone in the dark. And after I couldn’t pay my rent, my grandma was kind enough to take me and my boyfriend (who wouldn’t get a job) in to live with her in Oklahoma. As much as I loved her, I’m glad it didn’t last long before I was offered a job back in Kansas.

His mother let us stay with them for a couple of weeks because I had a job. I got up early, walked to the bus stop, got off the bus near work, and then walked another 3 blocks to the bus stop after work, and took the bus back to their house each night.

I was too proud to call my parents and ask for help.

I was too proud to walk away and say I was wrong about him.

One Friday night, after I got off work and got back to the house, his mom told me we would have to leave because her husband didn’t want us there anymore. Apparently, my boyfriend (her son) slept all day and didn’t make any attempt to get a job. That’s the way he was.

She later said she hoped I would call my parents and go home to get my life back on track because she knew he treated me terribly.

Most of our stuff was in storage.

Anyway, that night, as we were walking down a busy street with everything we had in our hands, on our backs, etc., he blamed me for our predicament, hit me in the head, and pushed me down onto the ground. On concrete. And I was crying because I was hurt, it was cold, I was exhausted, and I wondered how I would be able to keep my new job if I couldn’t even take a shower.

After spending the night running from barking dogs and anything/one else that was running around outside that night, I made a couple of phone calls… One to my sister (who was engaged), and one to one of my best and oldest friends. I didn’t tell either of them I was homeless. I was too embarrassed.

Anyway, we had a friend who let us stay with her and her family. They weren’t wealthy at all monetarily, but they gave what they had. And I appreciated it. They let us stay long enough for me to get a paycheck. And a place to live. It was only a week or two.

So every year in October, I think about the homeless people out there. I think about those people who are cold and wonder where their next meal will come from. Those people who don’t have blankets…or coats…or showers. Or anyone to love them. Or any hope.

Jesus loves those people! In fact, he gravitated towards those who were needy. He loved the sick and destitute because they needed Him.

And I needed Him.

There are people out there who think Christians are “crazy” for their beliefs, but I can say, without a doubt, the only reason I am alive today is because Jesus had a plan for my life. He would never let me go, and He protected me from worse things than those I willingly walked into. And He even rescued me from those.

I am so grateful for all I have been blessed with.

The story about me being homeless is true. It happened almost 30 years ago, October of 1985.

One thing I try to do, though it’s becoming increasingly more difficult at times, is remember that every person is going through something. While they might lash out at me, they are probably going through something that has nothing to do with me.

Just a reminder to all of us – Be grateful for what you have today because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

Let’s be an encouragement to each other and help where and when we can.

Hebrews 3:12-13 – “See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." 

 

"8 Things No Kid Should Leave Home Without" - A Great Book by Joe McGee

I’m always curious to read books about parenting… for obvious reasons.

And I do love a good bargain.

So, when I was shopping at Mardel’s a few months ago, I found a book on the clearance shelf by someone I’d never heard of, Joe McGee. And I bought it. It’s called 8 Things No Kid Should Leave Home Without.

Having kids who are growing up too fast, I was intrigued by what this book would tell me. And let me say that it didn’t disappoint.

The blurb about Joe McGee on the back cover told of his expertise in parenting, as he has 6 children of his own, is a former school administrator, and has been married to the same woman for 36 years. He’s got the authority I’m looking for.

These are common sense things for parents who want to equip their children for adult life. As a mom, I have tried to instill these things in my kids… all except one. One of the 8 things is (drum roll please) “A Love of Math.”

What?

I mean, come on! Some people are good with math, and some aren’t. While I won’t say that I’m a math genius, because that would be a big lie, I do enjoy math. I’ll admit that I like balancing a checkbook, coming up with a budget (though it doesn’t usually work completely), and figuring (and announcing) the total amount of a grocery shopping trip before the register computes it.

I am usually within one dollar.

I don’t say that to brag on my abilities, but it’s something I’m good at. I, however, am not great with Algebra or figuring out story problems.

The good thing is I have kids (several of them) who are acing their math classes. In fact, Jonah has a 92 in Pre-Calculus. That is seriously a miracle because he comes from a mom who loves reading and writing and a dad who is a theatre teacher. We usually laugh when talking about our math abilities.

Isn’t that awesome, though?

Joe gives some good reasons why we should instill a love of math, and I wish I would have thought about it 18 years ago. There’s no time like the present!

I’m not going to give the contents of the book away, but I would strongly suggest reading it and maybe putting some of these suggestions into practice.

The time with our kids goes so fast, and I can’t believe mine are almost grown.

I hope they look back at us, their mom and dad, and see that we did the best we could as parents. We may not have a lot of money or material things that some people see as important. But we are grateful for the blessings God has given us, and I want to be able to say that I lived my life with an attitude of thankfulness.

Teaching our kids how to be productive and responsible members of society is our responsibility.

Putting those things into practice is up to them.

I'm Proud of You

I am proud of you!

As children, we all long for those words to be spoken to us by our parents, family, friends, and teachers. The words fill us with such joy and empowerment, and even as we get older, we don’t ever lose that desire for affirmation.

Well, the tables were turned this week in my family of origin.

My father is now the President of a community bank in a small town. He has been working on the grand opening celebration, along with his colleagues, for at least a year. Friday was the big day.

It never occurred to me that I might be able to attend. Before I had a job, we didn’t really have the money for me to travel to see my parents as much as I would sometimes like to. And honestly, I’ve already been there twice this year, and they’ve been here to see us once. But Wednesday, I had this overwhelming sense that I just needed to be there. So, I submitted my request for a day off, and it was approved. (And my husband actually agreed to let me drive the new family vehicle, even though it probably would have been easier for him if I would have left it home.)

My brother’s wife and kids weren’t able to be there, but he came. And my sister was there with her kids (she lives in the same town), but my brother-in-law had to work. My mom’s best friend was there, too.

We had been waiting for this day. And I knew it was going to be something remarkable.

My dad is past retirement-age, but he is still working hard. This job he has now is probably the best he’s had in his entire working career. He has a company who cares for him and values him as not only a bank employee, but as a person. And, in my own humble opinion, I think that is very rare in these days where employee loyalty and hard work can be snuffed out due to greed and the downward spiral of the economy (at times). It’s not like it used to be where you could stay with a company your whole career, and you would be rewarded and feel appreciated.

But this bank is different. And it shows in the face a man who has worked hard since he was 16 years old to get where he is today. He’s never had anything handed to him and has worked hard for his successes.

When we arrived at the bank that morning, he had probably already been there for a couple of hours making preparations and encouraging his fantastic team of employees. And I must say - they are an elite group from all walks of life. He has chosen them well.

 

 

Anyway, the congressman who was supposed to be there was in DC instead because of the breakdown in the government negotiations. Someone from his office did attend and speak, though. 

And, something I didn’t know… The state of Kansas will fly flags at the Capital building in Topeka and then sell them to those who are interested in flying flags flown there. So, the bank bought one.   

When the motorcycles began roaring down Main Street, their own flags flying from their cycles, the excitement continued to build for those 150+ people who were standing in the bank parking lot. 

The man stepped off the cycle with the flag and walked it over to the three servicemen who were waiting to receive it. 

 

 

They saluted the flag and each other. 

 

Then, they took the flag to the flagpole and raised it up. 

 

 

A lady was singing The Star-Spangled Banner.

And it was a spectacular magnificent sight to see.

My dad’s face was lit up, and it was so obvious how happy he was. 

 

I was fortunate in getting the opportunity, while were standing in the lobby of the bank later, to tell him just how proud I am of him. I think he might have been surprised that I said it, but I could tell he liked that I did.

We had a good time there that day, and so did the people who came. Some of them pulled over to the side of the road to watch, and some were just walking down the street and stopped to join us.

We took pictures of the ceremony and of our family. It’s been a long time since we had a picture of the five original family members of the Ray family.

 

That afternoon, after the bank festivities were over, and the food was packed up, and the spectators had gone home, my dad sat with his group of employees, and they talked about the day and how wonderful it was.

I was fortunate in getting to spend the whole afternoon with my sister and brother… just the three of us. And it was fantastic! It is something I will always remember.

 

We had a good time the rest of the day, and I got up on Saturday morning and drove back to Texas. I ran into a storm close to home, but what it left behind was beyond extraordinary. 

 

I have thought about my time there many times since I left… and how proud I am of the man I call Dad.