Do
you ever get the feeling that you’re losing who you are?
2014
was a very interesting year for our family. There were sweet times, and there
were very hard times. And every now and then, I feel like I’m walking through
quicksand. For a whole year to go by in the blink of an eye, well, I don’t know
what to say about that.
Maybe
it’s because later this year, I will be 50 years old.
50!
Last
Thanksgiving was the first holiday our family was split. Noah and Jonah had to
work, so they weren’t able to go to the family get-together. It was tough
leaving them here without us. I knew we would be together at Christmas, though.
And
we had a great time! We watched both of The Hobbit movies on Christmas Eve, and
then we saw the third movie at the theatre on Christmas afternoon. All of us
together.
I
don’t know if the time I spend with them will ever be enough.
I
guess as the kids get older, as they get married and start having kids, our
holidays together might be fewer and far between.
I’ve
also realize how rude it was of me to act like I did to my own parents when I
moved out and didn’t talk to them for weeks at a time. I knew they didn’t agree
with my choices, and so I made the decision to not talk to them to avoid the
confrontation. I didn’t understand the love of a parent then.
Noah turned 20 last week, too. I can't believe that 20 years have gone by since the day I became a mother.
Is
it the fact getting older that is so hard?
Is
it the fact my kids are going to be moving out and starting their own lives
that is so hard?
I
think it’s probably both.
