Many things have happened in our family in the last year, but the ones of major significance were difficult, to say the least. They were losses that still hurt sometimes today.
On November 14, 2015, my first boy, Noah, moved out of our home and in with his girlfriend. He was almost 21, so it was probably time. But to have this young man whom I love so much leave our home of safety and love, it was so hard. I cried all day at work the day before he left.
I had been with him since before he was born, and I think it was harder on me than anyone else in the family. Moms are like that.
A couple of days later, November 17th, to be exact, we found out that our furry girl, Sophie, had kidney failure. We let the boys get out of school the next morning so we could all go to the vet together. We didn't know exactly how serious it was until we talked to the doctor. I did notice that her breath smelled medicinal, which was not a good sign. It was hard for her to get up and walk, and she had lost a lot of weight. We thought it was due to her new food and having a puppy around (more exercise, etc.). But we were wrong.
She was a member of our family since she was about 8 weeks old. She was quite a girl!
The doctor said she was very ill, and we could keep her there with IVs and maybe prolong her life, but we couldn't do that to her. She would be 9 on December 31st, and she had a great life with a family who adored her and loved her so much. We had to make the decision to let her go on that day, November 18th.
They took her out of the room to put the port in, and when they came back with her, we got to tell her how much we loved her, give her some hugs, cry some tears... She continued to stand up during this, but when they gave her the sedative, she laid down. And when they put the lethal shot in, she was gone within seconds. She was a sick girl but she loved her family back.
Our son, Isaac, insisted on carrying her to the car in the towel we brought. When I had to pay for the procedure, I broke out into the ugly cry, and I didn't even care. I loved that girl, and I still do.
Isaac sat in the middle seats of the car and laid on her the whole way home. When we got there, he picked her up and carried her to the back yard patio and held her while Jim and Jonah dug the hole for her burial.
It was awful.
The rest of the day, we sat around and cried occasionally. Jim had to get to work, and Caleb elected to go to school, but after he got there, decided it wasn't such a good idea.
Less than 2 months later, on Noah's birthday, my dear-mother-in-law passed away from Alzheimer's, which she had been battling for several years. This is a picture of the last time we saw her (July 2015).
Jim and I flew to Idaho for the funeral and spent time with the family. My parents actually stayed with the kids, which was a great comfort to me and Jim.
This was taken on the trip to Idaho Jim took me on to meet his family after we had only known each other less than 2 months (June 1991). I loved Shirley from the minute I met her, and I think everyone who knew her felt the same way.
So those 3 things defined our winter months in the Hammer house. Those few months were a time of great sorrow.
We are better now. Noah is doing well living out on his own. Sophie is no longer in pain. My mother-in-law is rejoicing in Heaven with her husband, my grandma and uncle, along with many other loved family and friends. And we will see them again someday.
Loving someone so much will open your heart up to joy and pain. But it is worth every minute.
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