Warning: Read at your Own Risk (It's about Jesus)

“God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him.” (John 3:17)

I read an exchange this morning between a friend who doesn’t believe in God and her relative who says he does. Unfortunately, he indicated he would rather stand up for the case of Christ than show love towards her.

That is in total opposition of what Jesus taught.

An oxymoron.

In an effort to be passionate in what he believed, he offended many who read the post. And, in fact, he hurt his relative by what he said. The fact is he hurt me, too, by what he said.

I’ve been sitting here for a couple of hours trying to articulate what I’m feeling, but I keep coming up empty.

But here’s what I do know.

I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and was at the beginning of time. After sin entered the world, and He knew it would happen before it did, Jesus came into the world to live as we do, but he did not sin during his 33 years on the earth. And while He was here, he hung out with those who weren’t perfect, the ones who were sick and needed healing… the ones who needed a touch from the only one who could take away the pain.

The only people Jesus really got angry with were the Pharisees and hypocrites.

He didn’t get angry with those who were sinning… or hurting… or dying. It was for those very people he came for.

In Luke 5, Jesus was teaching, and the crowd was great. A paralyzed man was carried by his friends to see Jesus, so the man could be healed. When they couldn’t get to him through the crowd, they took their friend up to the roof and actually took off some tiles to lower their friend through. Can you imagine the person whose building that was? I’m sure he was upset! But this man is lowered down from the ceiling on a mat and lands right in front of Jesus. And Jesus says, “Young man, your sins are forgiven.” He forgave his sins because of the faith of his friends. (Luke 5:18-20)

What about the woman at the well? The Samaritan woman. Jesus knew her life’s story, yet he didn’t accuse. He simply stated the truth. He, Jesus, the Light of the World, didn’t tell her how she was a dirty, rotten sinner. He offered her acceptance, truth and love. (John 4)

And what about the woman caught in adultery? She was going to be stoned! And Jesus Christ, son of God, stooped down and wrote something in the sand. I wish I knew what it was! Anyway, he told the crowd that whoever is without sin should cast the first stone. The crowd, realizing they were also guilty of something, dropped their rocks and left. When everyone was gone, Jesus asked the woman where her accusers were and if any of them condemned her. When she said no, He said this… “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” John 8

This is the Jesus of the Bible. This is the Jesus I’ve come to know. For even though He could have told her lots of things, accused her of the sin she was obviously committing, stoned her Himself, because he wasn’t guilty of anything, He did not.

For you see, without love, truth is not appreciated or even recognized.

You can bang your head against the wall of truth, but if you don’t have love, nothing is gained.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

(1 Corinthians 13)

Yes, we want the world to know Jesus the way we do, but I wonder if some people who call themselves Christians actually know the same Jesus I do. The Jesus I know would never push Himself on others. The Jesus I know told me (and you) to love God and love people. He said, “The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

Loving people doesn’t mean accepting their sin. Loving people means we accept THEM, as people. We are called to this by the very One we claim to represent. We aren’t going to show Jesus to people if we harass and accuse them. We have to love them, get to know them, and live our lives as close to our example as possible.

And if we aren’t doing that, we are failing.

Redemption and "Saving Mr. Banks"

Redemption = to free from what distresses or harms (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/redeem).

We went to see “Saving Mr. Banks” yesterday, and the one word I left with was just that. Redemption.

I’m not going to give away any of the story, but I will say it was intense and moving. There is no family unit that is perfect, but our birth family is the place from where all of us begin.

Our family of origin.

It’s the place you can’t choose, as it’s already been chosen for you.

It’s the place from which your memories will start and flow.

I have to admit that, while it would be great to have all of my memories from my family of origin be wonderful, they all are not.

Like, for instance, when my dog died, and I thought I would, too.

Or, when my first boyfriend broke up with me during Christmas break when I was 14. I just knew I was going to marry him! I felt like no one understood my pain, not even my family.

Or, when my parents made me break up with my boyfriend/finance, when I was 17, because he his step-dad said he was doing drugs. And I didn’t speak to my parents, unless I absolutely had to… for weeks. I didn’t forgive them for months.

But, through the years, better memories that have overshadowed the bad ones.

For instance, when my dad took me to dinner and shopping to get some new shoes for work because he knew I didn’t have any money.

Or, when they were there helping me pack and move out the day I left my abusive first husband.

Or, the days they were there for the births of my sons, their grandchildren.

If you dwell on the hurt and shortcomings and failures of others and the impact it has on your life, you will be filled with sadness and grief, maybe remorse and shame. But if you forgive, you are free to move forward towards redemption.

Personally, I’m grateful that Jesus redeemed me from the life that I thought I deserved. I’ve made some regretful decisions, and I have been at the place where I felt that I lost everything… that I had no hope left at all. But I know have been given more than I ever lost.

Redemption.

Forgiveness.

Hope.

Christmas Cheer and Little Letter

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND…

Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But I have had several people say they like my annual letter. So, I have a little time right now, and I’ll relive this year and tell you about it, too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Noah turned 18 in January and is now “out in the world.” He is working full-time at a large retail establishment and has a learner’s permit, so he’s been learning how much fun traffic is. He doesn’t plan on staying there forever, but it’s good experience. He had been working minimal hours in child care at a church and had to resign when he was hired in retail. He’s had a lot of interesting incidents working there. He’s also had a girlfriend since the spring. He’s expecting to get his GED completed and look into some college courses in the New Year.

Jonah turned 17 in March and is in the throes of his Senior year. He just completed his senior Capstone project and presented it before the judges. While he isn’t sure what he really wants to do with his life, he chose Accounting as the profession to explore. I was very pleased with his finished project. He is quite funny most of the time. I know he’s looking forward to getting out of school, and we are talking with him about college and working.

 

NOTE: Moving into the adult world is not easy, but I hope we are equipping them for what they will face.

Caleb turned 15 in July and is in his Sophomore year of high school. He is thoroughly enjoying the social aspects of school and having his Dad as his teacher. With his middle school years being so heartbreaking with being a target of bullies, we are grateful he’s having a different and better experience. He’s been involved with the theatre department and is having a great time with it. He is taller than Jonah, and that is a little shocking.

Jesse turned 13 in March and is in the 8^th grade. He is also involved in theatre and choir. He has been talking lately about getting a guitar and learning how to play. On September 1^st, he and Isaac had been at their friend’s house swimming, and when they returned home, I asked if they cleaned up their trash. Jesse said they hadn’t, so I sent him back over there to clean it up (BOYS!)… A little while later, his friend’s mom brought him home. Apparently, instead of walking down the street, he decided to climb a wooden privacy fence, got to the top and tripped on his flip flops (!), and landed on his arm. Broken arm. So grateful it wasn’t more serious because we wouldn’t have even known where he was. First day of new insurance year and flexible spending. LOL! Gotta laugh sometimes at the irony.

 

Isaac turned 13 in March and is in the 8^th grade. (Is there an echo in here?) He started playing tennis this fall and is a natural. He’s already destroyed one racket, so it was a good thing it was inexpensive. My brother advised to not spend a lot of money on them because they will get bent. He was right, and I’m glad we listened!

Jim and I celebrated 22 years of marriage in August. It seems like we've been together forever, yet it seems like just yesterday we met and got married 4 months later. 

Jim is in his 3^rd year at the high school. He’s still having a great time, and the productions they’ve put together have been nothing short of fantastic. The musical they performed in the spring was “Singing in the Rain,” and Jim developed a way for it to rain on stage. The man is, hands-down, the most creative person I’ve ever met. He can do anything! 

 

As for me, well, I’ve had a very interesting year. After graduating last December, I was hoping that it would be less difficult to find a full-time job. I was wrong. I had been looking for quite some time, but fortunately, in January, I saw a listing on my college job-board for an Administrative Assistant for a CPA, so I applied. I had an interview quickly, and I was hired on the spot. Right in the middle of tax season, I was learning a new job. I knew it was temporary when I applied, but I still did the best I could. I told her several times, “I’m having a really good time!” She’d say, every single time, “You’re CRAZY!” Maybe.

After April 15^th had come and gone, my hours were cut to one day a week until I could find something else. It didn’t last long, though, maybe 4 weeks, and then I was in the ranks of the unemployed again. I had been looking for a job for a year at that point, and it was getting discouraging. I did have a couple of interviews, and at one of them, I was told there were over 300 applicants for the position. I didn’t get it. You start wondering if there is something wrong with you, and it can get you down.

In May for my Dad’s birthday and Mother’s Day weekend, my family let me go to Wichita and spend it with my parents. Mom, Cheryl, Sydney and I did some shopping, and I bought work clothes for the job I didn’t yet have. But I was still hopeful.

 

One good thing about being unemployed for the summer is that I got to spend it with my family. We had a good time together, and I have to say it went so fast.

My parents were here for July 4^th weekend, and it zipped by. That’s the only time they’ve seen the rest of the family this year.

 

A couple of weeks later, I was on my way back to Kansas to attend the funeral of my great-uncle. He was the last of that generation in our family. Being a Veteran, the graveside service was very moving. 

 

That night, Mom came into the room I was sleeping in and asked me to look at her legs, and she had a bunch of red welts/bites all over. I had no idea what they were, but the next morning, we all had them. The cemetery is in the country, and chiggers had gotten on all of us. They were the worst chigger bites I’ve ever had, and I have scars. Unbelievable!

And then there was the incident in July where our beloved Sophie had a back problem and couldn't move her back legs. Fortunately, Jim can build anything, as I mentioned, so he built her a little wheelchair to get around in. And she did get better, which was a blessing.

Shortly after I returned home, I had an interview for a Technical Services Associate position (almost exactly what I had been doing before), and I was hired. I still have great aspirations of being an accomplished author and working in a nonprofit organization someday, but for now, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be.

The weekend before I started my job, three of my good friends came to Texas. I hadn’t seen Debbie or Julie since we left MO in 2006, and I hadn’t seen Laura since 2009. We spent the weekend laughing and crying and eating and laughing and swimming and shopping and laughing. I had a hard time when they left because it was seriously one of the best parts of my year. It’s so nice having such good friends that, even though many years have passed since you’ve been together, when you do see each other, it’s like no time has gone by. I’m grateful to have a few friends like that.

 

I started my job on August 7^th, and it’s been going nonstop since.

 

Shortly after that, our old 2001 Chevrolet Venture was on its last leg. So, we traded the poor girl in for a 2013 Ford Flex. Jim has wanted one since they first came out. It’s a lot of fun to drive, and it actually accommodates our family, though there isn’t even one extra seat anymore, like we had in the van. I had mixed feelings about leaving the van because it had been with us since 2001 when it had less than 3,000 miles on it. It’s funny about change, even when it’s a good change. It’s still hard.

 

In October, I made another trip to Wichita for Dad’s bank opening. It was a lot of fun, though it was so hot that day. One of the blessings was that I was able to spend the whole afternoon with my sister and brother. We hadn’t done that for probably 20 years, just the three of us. I had a great time.

We had planned on going to Wichita for Christmas this year, but it seems that everything is against us. Noah asked off for the weekend, but he didn’t ask for approval, so he’s scheduled to work. Isaac got sick and ended up coming home from school early on Wednesday. I haven’t been feeling well… and the big reason is the dangerous ice storm in Oklahoma. We had a one a couple of weeks ago, and it was a mess! (That looks like snow, but it is ice and sleet.)

We have two surgeries in our future with Jonah getting his wisdom teeth out and Isaac getting his tonsils out (finally!) sometime next year. And tax season is right around the corner, so if you don’t have your information together, do it! (That’s a piece of free advice from one who works in the industry.)

As for our Christmas, it’s going to be low-key this year. We had an unexpected expense of almost $1,000 on the car this week, so looks like this next week will be like any other week for the Hammers. I never found a Christmas tree, either, so if you walk into our house, you can’t even tell it’s Christmas. There are no decorations or fanfare, but we all know the real reason for Christmas. Not having Christmas gifts is NOT a tragedy... there are people out there who are homeless, don't know where their next meal is coming from, and kids who don't have parents. We have food, a nice place to live, and each other. What more could we really ask for?

Noah, though, went all out on Christmas presents for his brothers. They will be excited because he listened to them throughout the year and chose gifts based on what they said they would like. I can’t wait for them to see! What a sweet and giving son/brother he is.

Whatever circumstances you find yourselves in this Christmas season, we hope that you will remember your blessings and accomplishments. Don’t let your failures and disappointments discourage you from being who you were created to be. We only have today!

2014 is on our doorstep, and we pray that you will be blessed beyond measure.

The Christmas Season

Because it’s the Christmas season, I would like to give you a dose of cheer.

But I can’t today. I’m feeling a little down. Okay, a lot.

So, how about a dose of reality instead?

If I were you, I would say, “No, thank you!”

If anyone is even reading further, I would strongly request of you to exhibit some caring and compassion for others, especially during this holiday season. While your life might be wonderful, with all of your Christmas dreams coming true, you don’t know what battles others are fighting.

Grief.

Depression.

Financial pressure.

Guilt.

Shame.

Missing someone.

Feeling unloved.

Feeling alone.

Feeling like a loser…

Every year, I have these great hopes and dreams of a “perfect” Christmas with my family. Unfortunately, it never goes the way I have planned.

Oh, I wish I had a big, beautiful Christmas tree, decked out in ornaments and ribbon… lovely lights and a sparkly star at the top. We would have at least ten wrapped presents for each of our kids (so, 50 of them), and maybe a diamond necklace for me, and something great for Jim.

Things might seem to be going well through the year, and I begin to think it really might happen “this year.” And then, as we inch closer to the day…

BAM!

One car breaks down… or maybe, both.

Every. Single. Year.

Another year without a Christmas tree. I kept thinking I would get one on sale, but it was never “the right time.” And now we are without one again.

And year after year, and after spending hundreds of dollars in car repairs, there is, or will be, no money left for Christmas presents for my kids or us. Just enough for the necessities, like rent, groceries, utility bills and insurance payments.

After reading this, I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself. And maybe I am. I just don’t understand why it has to be this way every year…

Also, I might be in a “funk” today because I woke up with a bad headache, or maybe it’s because of some harsh words that were spoken to me, or maybe because my car needs repairs that will cost close to $1,000. Granted, we weren’t planning on spending thousands on Christmas gifts. But now we need to find some way to fix our car, so I can drive to work.

It’s a lot of pressure to put on someone… the commercial meaning of Christmas.

So I have spent the majority of the day today telling myself what a loser I am. How I am a horrible mother, and my kids would be better off with a mother does everything for them and lets them sit around and play video games all day. A mother who doesn’t get upset when someone argues with her. A mother who smiles all the time and acts like all is well, even when it’s not.

It’s funny how things can be going along just fine, and then something sends you into a tailspin, causing you to blame yourself for everything that has happened… and it wasn’t even your fault.

It wasn’t my fault my car needs to be repaired. It’s because it’s a 2006 model that is getting older with more mileage.

It wasn’t my fault that someone spoke harsh words to me. There are kind ways to talk to people so they don’t feel they’ve been attacked.

So, after all of it, I picked myself up and tried to get rid of the headache. I didn’t speak many words because I felt that if I did, it wouldn’t be good. I did cry. The problem was that, once I started crying, I almost couldn’t stop.

I can’t even say now that I feel fine because I really don’t.

But, again, I would really request, beg of you, please make the decision to speak life to your loved ones, and even those you don’t know. They need it. They need someone to care and wrap their arms around them and understand what they are going through.

And maybe that person who is feeling bad is YOU. So if it is, please know you aren’t alone right now. I’m thinking about all of us who are having a rough time, and I’m hoping and praying that it doesn’t last for long.

Here are a links to my favorite Christmas songs. Maybe listening to them will encourage you.

"One Last Christmas" by Matthew West:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBjr2P9_6Yc

"Christmas is all in the Heart" by Steven Curtis Chapman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvBDrwser8k

"Home for Christmas" by Steven Curtis Chapman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykX3Xu9fuqA

I actually feel a little better after writing this blog post...

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18, New Living Translation)

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, New International Version)

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21, New Living Translation)

(Disclaimer: Yes, I do know what the real meaning of Christmas is... It's the commercial meaning of Christmas that's getting me down.)