Have you ever wanted to put your head inside a very large purse and just SCREAM?Okay, I confess. I just finished this book, although our Bible study ended in January. I know I'm behind, but when I started working... Blah, blah, blah. I started working AFTER we were supposed to finish the book. So, that's really not a good excuse.
I'm not even sure what happened! Was it the depression that sunk in after graduation? Was it the coming-down feeling after the holidays? Was it the anxiety of the 5+ weeks between my husband's teacher paychecks from Dec - Jan? I really can't say, except for maybe all of it combined was just too much for me to handle. I was spending most mornings sleeping until noon, and when I got up, I played Bejeweled most of the afternoon. I would drag myself in to take a shower right before my kids got home from school.
And then, God blessed me with a really good job, though it's temporary, and my outlook on life shifted back to the land of the living. I began taking "Unglued" with me to work every day, and I read it (even reread a few chapters) when I stayed in for lunch. I even used my highlighter in some chapters of the book, which is highly unlikely for me. I used to highlight when I read, but I stopped for some reason... Hmmmmm.
So, I have to write about some specific things that I found out in this book. One thing that was very interesting to me was found in the back in the Appendix. There, on pages 194-196, I found out that I'm prone to being an "Internal Processor" and an "Internal Suppressor." What this means is that I'm a "Stuffer that builds barriers." Now, whether I "secretly" knew that or not, I'm not sure, but it was like a bell chimed quietly inside me.
In my own defense, I have had some rather difficult situations in my life. Thinking back on some of them now, I think I learned to not say anything in fear of retaliation when someone hurts me.
Tell someone they hurt your feelings, and they aren't your friend anymore.
Tell someone you love that you were hurt by their actions (or inactions), and they blame you for it.
The funny, yet interesting thing is that on the other side of the "Internal Processor" is the "External Suppressor," and at the heart of that intersection is the "Exploder that shames herself." Ouch, and that was me for a long time. It obviously didn't work too well, so I must have stopped at one point and changed over to the "other side." But I found that doesn't work well, either.
Building barriers with people you love and care about is not a good idea if you expect your relationships to flourish. Being aware of it does help when you are tempted to go to one place or another.
So, while I read this book, I found a few passages that screamed out my name.
"I've stopped positioning my life for miracles. In relation to my unglued struggles, somewhere along the line I stopped expecting God to work miraculously in me." (p.126)
Wow... when I examined myself in relation to those statements, I found that I was right there with Lysa.
"In short, God designed our bodies to respond to our thoughts. Negative thoughts lead to a crisis response - activating us physically but hindering our thinking. Positive thoughts allow us to process a situation accurately and respond in a healthy way." (p.143)
Negative thoughts has where I have found myself "naturally" gravitating towards.
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm not worthy of having good friends."
"I'm not..."
I find that if I am keenly aware of this shortcoming in myself, I can call it what it is. Maybe I can get out sooner than later.
There is so much I could say about this book, but I'm going to let it speak for itself. I would wholeheartedly recommend "Unglued" to everyone. While it was written for women, I think men would get something out of it, as well. And if you really want your life to change, you will be looking for resources full of life-giving wisdom to guide and help you. This book would most definitely be one to do it.
(image is from www.dayspring.com)
