Our 25th Anniversary Trip to California

My husband and I didn’t have a honeymoon when we were married in 1991. After all, we only knew each other and dated for 4 months before getting married. There wasn’t time to plan and save for an elaborate trip like that. 

 

And then we separated 4 times in the first 2 years we were married. And then he went to college, and then we were blessed with 5 kids in 5 years after an Endometriosis diagnosis.

We were still on a whirlwind trip of our own called LIFE.

So, for our 10^th anniversary, we took a trip, just the two of us, to Orlando. We decided to drive because we thought it would be fun. A great friend volunteered to keep all 5 kids (who were 6, 5, 3 and the twins were 1)… She even potty-trained Caleb, who really hadn’t shown much interest at home.

 

We couldn’t get home fast enough from the trip. Maybe it was the season of life we were in, maybe it was because other things were going on. For whatever reason, we really don’t look back fondly at the trip, and that’s really too bad.

So, for our 25^th anniversary, we have been scheming and planning for several years. We had every intention of going to New York and the east coast. But I talked to one of my co-workers, and she told me about the trip they took to CA and driving the Pacific Coast Highway.

We changed our plans.

I had always wanted to visit California because I had never been there. Jim had actually lived in LA at one time, so CA wasn’t untapped territory for him. So CA it was!

And we had so much fun!

We decided to fly into San Diego and out of Sacramento. We would be gone for a week and would rent a car and drive up through the areas we wanted to see.

I can’t tell my whole story in just one blog post, but I will give a first day synopsis.

We got up at 4:00am, and our son drove us to the airport. It was strange leaving them this time, although they are considerably older than they were in 2001. 

We arrived in San Diego at 9:10am, retrieved our luggage, and proceeded to the Enterprise Rental Counter. Quite a few customers were ahead of us, and it wasn’t a big deal, but we were scheduled to meet some lovely friends for brunch. When we had waited just a little while, the rep said he didn’t have a full-size car we had reserved, but he could get one cleaned up for us. I said we had somewhere to be, and he offered a small SUV. However, we did not want an SUV because if anyone looked in, our luggage would be visible.

So, he pointed in the other direction and asked, “How about if I put you in a Challenger?”

Oh, yeah, my husband lit up. See, we were going to rent a convertible Mustang when we started planning this trip, but we decided it wasn’t worth it to spend double of the amount a full-size car was.

We picked the charcoal gray with metallic flecks, and we headed out onto the streets of San Diego. It was loud and cool and awesome! And maybe just a little scary, too.

We found the parking lot by the restaurant where we met our friends, Caroline’s Seaside Café. Right there on the Pacific Ocean. Right there! We parked in a space that wasn’t marked with any signs, the sign in the lot said free on weekends and holidays, we thought we were fine.

We have known these friends since 1998, so 18 years. They both went to our church as young people, and they are now almost 30. Unbelievable! We talked and talked and talked, and of course, it was like no time had passed since we saw each other. And they were celebrating their 10th anniversary that weekend!

 

After eating, we stood out on the walkway and watched the waves crash on the beach. It was a cloudy and cool day, and really, I can say it was so beautiful.

When we got back to the car, we were getting a ticket. The officer insisted there was a sign saying we had to pay, but we obviously didn’t see it. He was very gracious, though, when he asked if we were leaving, and we said yes, he gave us a warning instead. Whew!

We then headed to the Oceanside Marina Suites in Oceanside. It is really like a throwback from the 80s, no air-conditioning, old accommodations, and right on the marina. By the Pacific Ocean! Honestly, the weather was so perfect, and it didn’t seem to matter much about the comfort of the room.

 

 

 After checking in, we made a run to Walmart for our normal things: bottled water, snacks, ear plugs…

That night, we had dinner at Rockin’ Baja Lobster and met up with one of my good friends. We’ve been friends since 1978, and we hadn’t seen each other for years. We talked, we laughed, we had the greatest time! And the food was awesome! Though it did keep me up that night.

 

But the bed was comfy, and we did get a little sleep.

And it was just the beginning of a great trip!

If you are interested, I will be continuing to write about our adventures on our trip of a lifetime. Stay tuned!

The Changes in our World

I can't believe I haven't written on my blog for almost one year! I guess life gets in the way sometimes of things that you really want to do.

Many things have happened in our family in the last year, but the ones of major significance were difficult, to say the least. They were losses that still hurt sometimes today.

On November 14, 2015, my first boy, Noah, moved out of our home and in with his girlfriend. He was almost 21, so it was probably time. But to have this young man whom I love so much leave our home of safety and love, it was so hard. I cried all day at work the day before he left.

I had been with him since before he was born, and I think it was harder on me than anyone else in the family. Moms are like that.




A couple of days later, November 17th, to be exact, we found out that our furry girl, Sophie, had kidney failure. We let the boys get out of school the next morning so we could all go to the vet together. We didn't know exactly how serious it was until we talked to the doctor. I did notice that her breath smelled medicinal, which was not a good sign. It was hard for her to get up and walk, and she had lost a lot of weight. We thought it was due to her new food and having a puppy around (more exercise, etc.). But we were wrong.

She was a member of our family since she was about 8 weeks old. She was quite a girl!

 

The doctor said she was very ill, and we could keep her there with IVs and maybe prolong her life, but we couldn't do that to her. She would be 9 on December 31st, and she had a great life with a family who adored her and loved her so much. We had to make the decision to let her go on that day, November 18th.

 

They took her out of the room to put the port in, and when they came back with her, we got to tell her how much we loved her, give her some hugs, cry some tears... She continued to stand up during this, but when they gave her the sedative, she laid down. And when they put the lethal shot in, she was gone within seconds. She was a sick girl but she loved her family back.

Our son, Isaac, insisted on carrying her to the car in the towel we brought. When I had to pay for the procedure, I broke out into the ugly cry, and I didn't even care. I loved that girl, and I still do.

Isaac sat in the middle seats of the car and laid on her the whole way home. When we got there, he picked her up and carried her to the back yard patio and held her while Jim and Jonah dug the hole for her burial.

It was awful.

The rest of the day, we sat around and cried occasionally. Jim had to get to work, and Caleb elected to go to school, but after he got there, decided it wasn't such a good idea.

Less than 2 months later, on Noah's birthday, my dear-mother-in-law passed away from Alzheimer's, which she had been battling for several years. This is a picture of the last time we saw her (July 2015).



Jim and I flew to Idaho for the funeral and spent time with the family. My parents actually stayed with the kids, which was a great comfort to me and Jim.

 

This was taken on the trip to Idaho Jim took me on to meet his family after we had only known each other less than 2 months (June 1991). I loved Shirley from the minute I met her, and I think everyone who knew her felt the same way.

 

So those 3 things defined our winter months in the Hammer house. Those few months were a time of great sorrow.

We are better now. Noah is doing well living out on his own. Sophie is no longer in pain. My mother-in-law is rejoicing in Heaven with her husband, my grandma and uncle, along with many other loved family and friends. And we will see them again someday.

Loving someone so much will open your heart up to joy and pain. But it is worth every minute.

What does God Require of Us?

So, everyone has been writing about the Ashley Madison leak. You know, it’s a big deal when this kind of stuff happens. And then there is the media, and it seems to make a mockery out of the fall of those who claim to be “Christians.”

And all of this on the heels of the Josh Duggar scandal, and once again, the Duggar family is on the front of magazines. Not in a good way. It’s really awful, and it is heartbreaking.

Why are we so shocked to see it? Why are we so surprised when church leaders, pastors, and our neighbors are on that list?

Who ever said that he is perfect, or that any Christian, is perfect? If anyone said Christians, or anyone for that matter, are perfect, that person is a liar.

Here’s what the Bible says about us.

We are formed with dust, and it was God who breathed life into us. (Genesis 2:7)

God knew us before He formed us. (Psalm 139:13)

He has numbered the hairs on our heads. (Matthew 10:30)

Our bodies will wither and die. (Isaiah 40:7)

There is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

We will continue to make mistakes. (Romans 7:15-21)

Even the thief who died on a cross next to Jesus and those who crucified Him were forgiven. (Luke 23: 32-43)

We have a choice. (Deuteronomy 30:15-20)

Jesus is the only way to Heaven. (John 14:6)

He will never turn us away. (John 6:37-40)

Jesus died so we can live with him forever. (John 3:16-18)

If we struggle, we should pray and confess our sins to our brothers/sisters. (James 5:13-16)

When I say “us,” I mean all of us.

We are all flawed human beings, and maybe we should look at others with the compassion that Jesus had for them, and really, for all of us. God knew what we would be before the creation of the world, and He still chose to give us breath and life… and a free will to make choices that could ultimately lead us away from Him.

I certainly am not excusing what anyone has done. What I am saying is that we have a responsibility to help restore what the enemy is trying to destroy. When families fall apart, when marriages come unhinged, what are we supposed to do?

This is what Jesus tells us.

Love God. (Luke 10:27)

Love People. (Luke 10:27)

Do justly, love mercy; walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

That’s it.

If our actions do not fall within those categories, we are doing it wrong. And the true thing is that the world is watching us. They are watching to see if we love our brother when he falls, or if we crucify him because “he deserves it.”

Another thing is this – we can’t expect people who don’t know Jesus to act like they do.

I feel sorry for everyone who is involved in this. My heart goes out to the spouses who are heartbroken from the actions of the ones they love. It also goes out the ones who are wrapped up in this web of deceit. Maybe instead of gasps of disbelief or a wagging finger or shaking head, we should come alongside these “sinners” and pray with them, give them resources to heal, and stop judging and leave that to God alone.

My last thought it this: if you are caught in this addiction, or someone you love is, I would highly recommend the resources from Pure Desire Ministries, https://www.puredesire.org.

Love God.

Love People.

That’s our calling, People.

The First Vacation in 10 Years

We work hard every day, take care of our families, and some of us cannot afford to travel. It’s not that we don’t want to go because there is sometimes I would like nothing more than to put my family in our car and drive far, far away. But Jim being a teacher, we don’t always have extra money. We can’t take the money that’s meant for food, utilities, car payments, etc. to go on a vacation.

We had not, as a family, been back to see our family in Idaho for exactly 10 years this summer. 10 years!

But this summer – Ah, yes, this summer was different for our family!

Our oldest son got married last week in Idaho, and we decided that we were going. The drive from Texas was about 1700 miles… a long drive, for sure, but it was so worth it. And my bosses let me off for the week with short notice. What a blessing!

Our oldest kids couldn’t go with us, so it was just us and the younger three.

The first day, we drove to Farmington, New Mexico and stayed in the Holiday Inn Express there. It was a very nice hotel, great pool, and an interesting restaurant called Blake’s Lotaburger was located in the parking lot. We were eating hamburgers at 10:00 mountain time, 11:00pm central time, our normal time zone. Of course, vacation time is different than our “normal” time.

 

 

It seems every time we leave Texas, my allergies kick up, and this time was no different. I think I took Excedrin Migraine almost every day we were gone.

 

Our second day, we drove through the scenic areas of NM, CO, UT and ID. The mountains were crazy-cool, the Indian Reservation areas were – well, there are no words. 

We made it to Jim’s brother’s house around 10:30pm. When we drove into the wrong driveway, he was sitting outside laughing at us. It was so funny!

My mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s, and she is in a very nice home. Seeing her was our first mission on our first day in Idaho. 

 

And we also had to visit Taco Time. If you haven’t been there before, make sure you do it!

I won’t go through and tell every single thing we did, but I will say this: We had a wonderful time! The family took time out of their normal schedules to hang out with us and make sure that we had a good time.

We have some friends we met when we lived in Oklahoma, 20+ years ago. How strange is it that of all the cities in all the states - they would move to the same town Jim's family lives in? It was awesome to see them, too!

 

 

We were able to spend time with Connor and Krista at their house, too. It was great meeting her for the first time and getting to know her. She's our daughter-in-love now!

Connor and Krista were married on Saturday in a field in rural Idaho. It was simple and beautiful, and Jim was asked to do part of the ceremony. We hated to leave, but we knew we had to get home.

 

 

It was hard to say goodbye to these people we love. We are hoping that 10 years doesn't have to pass for us to see them again.

 

So, we drove straight through to Texas this time.

I am the usual driver because I get carsickness. When it came to a point where I just couldn’t go any longer, Jim took over. There wasn’t really a time where both of us couldn’t go on, so that was great. And we went home straight freeway – Boise to Salt Lake City to Cheyenne to Denver to Wichita. And that’s where we met up with my parents and sister for lunch. We spent a couple of hours with them, and then we started the drive home back to north Texas. When we were getting close to the border, it seemed it was taking FOREVER. But then we were in our house, and when we hit our bed… Ahhhh… You never know how much you appreciate your bed until you try to sleep in a car and only manage a couple of hours of sleep in 36 hours.

I slept almost 11 hours straight and hardly moved at all.

And then it was over.

I have to say, though, it was just marvelous. My desire to get in the car and drive away is gone, and we have these fantastic memories to last forever.

The whole trip cost about $1,000. I thought it would be so much more than that, but when you take food in your car, and you can make PB&J sandwiches driving down the highway instead of eating out constantly, it can really save you money.

I’ve had a new attitude this week, although I was exhausted the first few days. The word “grateful” describes how I feel.