Friends and Guest Blogger

When we moved to Texas, we moved into a unique situation. We have three families we have known for years… like LOTS of years, who all live in this general area. However, each family lives at least an hour away from us, and in different directions. We don’t see each other often because everyone is busy with their own lives. But it doesn't change the fact we love each other.

Keatha and I decided in January that we would go to lunch once a month. We haven't seen each other since! Good intentions, you know. We went to lunch today, though, and we had a great time talking and laughing and looking at pictures of her trip to Italy. As you know from my previous post, I desperately needed this.

She told me that she wrote another poem, and I asked her if I could read it. She emailed it to me, and it really moved me. So I requested her permission to share it here on my blog, and she agreed to it.

So, thank you, Sweet Friend. You are a beautiful woman, loving wife and mother, and a treasured friend. Oh, and you are so talented, too! :-)

Here it is…

Faith, Dogma, and the Sins of the Mother

(Written by Keatha Frederick)

Faith is a shiny thread running through my life-

inextricable, though I might not want to see-

pulling so tight if I try to run from it,

weaving a net for setting me free.

The Fear of Isaac, the God of Jacob-

Is this who opens a staircase?  For me??

I wrestle with Him, with my past and my future-

my discipline needed, to bring honesty.

My son- he believes that this is all dogma,

a listing of rules to tangle his life.

He has his own notions of God and the universe,

choosing himself what he figures is right.

The universe:  safety- so distant, no pressure-

A “force” that is willing to give what it should.

How do I show him the God who created it,

who’s personal, reaching down,

aching with love?

“The sins of the father”:  yes, they followed Jacob.

He got what he gave, and his children as well.

And now I see my sins-

Repeating, repeating-

A family curse, or just common to man?

Yet faith wove through Jacob,

his children,

their children-

a legacy flowing through imperfect lives.

And it will entangle itself in my family,

tapestry beautiful, darkness with light.

And God, will I finally be, someday, like Jacob?

Limping, yet worshipping you at the end?

Blessing my sons, because You didn’t leave me-

wrapping around me,

pulling me home.

 

Church Shouldn't Be a Lonely Place

Confession…

We don’t have a church home.

And it isn’t because we love Jesus less. We just can’t find “the” place where our hearts have found a home.

We have been involved with at least two good churches since coming to Texas, but in the 2-1/2 years we were at one, we didn’t really “do life” with any couples. To clarify, there were four couples we were friends with, but we hardly ever got together. And the reason we met in the first place was because the husbands were in a Bible study together on Saturday mornings. And then:

One couple moved to Oklahoma.

One couple is moving east to be near family.

One couple is moving closer to the husband’s work.

One couple lives a mile from us, but they are so busy with their young family, and he works a lot. Just like Jim.

The other church we were a part of, and even served in, is a wonderful church. But it’s 22 miles from our house, and it’s hard to be involved when you live that far away. There are people from all around the area who attend there, and it really is a great place. We went there for almost a year, serving, too, and we ended up, again, with no friends. Oh, we had acquaintances, but none who really took an interest in our family, who called us up one night and asked if we could meet for dinner, or invited us to their homes.

It’s very lonely going to church when you have no authentic friends.

Living in AR was tough, but one good thing that came out of our time there was friends. We had friends we did life with! They were our family when we were away from ours. We saw them Easter 2012 when Jim was asked to be a part of the Easter service at NLC. When we were standing in the foyer before church, our friends said hello to us as they walked by. Then, they did a double-take when they realized we were actually there in person! It was so great!

Now, I’m not saying this to instigate a pity party. What I am saying is that maybe things should be different.

Maybe when new families come into your church, you should make a point of getting to know them. Don’t just welcome them, make sure they’re saved and baptized, and then request and expect them to serve right away. Sometimes they need some friends to connect with. Serving with friends is so much better than serving without. And it makes you want to serve even more when you think that someone values you for you, not just for what you can do for them.

We are still looking for a place where we can connect. We have visited another church, and we plan on going back. However, it’s almost easier to not go anywhere than to go through the disappointment of not being seen one more time.

And that is just honesty.

Yes, I realize that the Bible says we shouldn’t give up meeting together. But it also says to do life together, and we haven’t found it yet here in Texas. And it's been almost 4 years.

Oh, we will find it again. It’s just taking longer than it ever has.