We Miss American Idol Already

I’m already missing my friends on American Idol.

We have not watched every season of AI, and we didn’t watch last year’s season at all (Season 12). We weren’t too thrilled about the addition of the, AHEM, women judges, so we opted out.

This season, however, was very different.

We watched every. single. episode.

One of my favorite aspects this year had nothing to do with the talent of the contestants. It had everything to do with the judges. There was something so awesome about the trio of JLo, Harry, and Keith Urban (you always have to say his last name because it’s very cool). They were really very fascinating. The way Harry added his expertise of music... And, if I can give my opinion, I think this was the best judging panel EVER. Then, add Randy and Ryan into the mix… We thought it was great!

When they were starting with 15 guys/15 girls, we had the winners pegged. It really wasn’t that difficult to see the most talented, but we did go back and forth about who was going to win – Caleb, Jena, or Alex. They were all so different and all so very good. While watching the finale, it was easy to see who was the best-of-the-best.

We heard criticism of this year’s contestants from many on social media. They said the contestants weren’t talented at all, boring, etc.

Our family found them to be completely opposite.

I think my very favorite part about American Idol is that our family sits down together every time it’s on and watches it together. We laugh, shout, and clap. Together. When you have kids who are growing up so fast, it's a blessing that you can all find something to watch together.

We hope the team of judges stay together for the next season. I can’t imagine any other group of judges being that great. The number they all sang together… Whoa! That was fantastic, and I probably enjoyed that performance most of all in the finale (but Alex and Jason Mraz came in a close second). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO2E3FUQYxc 

7 months, People!

And the Hammers will be waiting.

Finally! Book Review on No More Perfect Kids

“Children have no control over their ability. They do have control over how they use their ability – and that’s a matter of character” (Savage, Jill and Kathy Koch. No More Perfect Kids, pg. 206).

I have been blessed to be a part of the launch team for Jill Savage and Kathy Koch’s new book, No More Perfect Kids. These ladies are phenomenal in their writing and encouragement to parents everywhere. This is not just a book for moms; it’s for anyone who parents children.

I think it’s easy sometimes to forget that your children are little people with minds and emotions. We want the best for them, we want them to be so much more than we were, and in doing that, we can have very unrealistic expectations of them. This book answers questions of how to show our children that we love them, that they are important to us, and guiding them to find their purpose in life. Not only are the chapters honest and easy to understand, the appendix gives valuable and usable information that parents can use in practical ways. For example, there is a chapter called “Character Qualities to Develop in Your Children.” How helpful! It puts words to the thoughts and goals we have, but this book provides realistic ways to act.

Obviously, Jill and Dr. Kathy have a heart for parents and kids, and it comes through in the material they’ve written so eloquently. This book does not make any accusations of parents’ mistakes in raising their children, but it does cause parents to think about the ways in which they engage with their children. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve made many parenting blunders, and I’m grateful to know that there’s a way to change and repair what might have been broken by my own hand.

I wrote an email to Jill after reading No More Perfect Moms, and I was asked if she could use it for this book. I said yes, so my story is written, too. It was a tough time for me, but what healing came knowing I’m not alone.

We all have parenting stories of not knowing what to do, but if you will read this book, I can say that if something starts to go awry, or you think, “I don’t know what to do in this situation,” the concepts written here just may come to the forefront of your mind and give you hope, too.

I definitely recommend that all parents read this book cover to cover. It’s helpful, insightful, and encouraging.

(This was my posted review, and I believe every word I wrote. Buy this book! You won't be disappointed - you should also get No More Perfect Moms. It's awesome, too!)

The Middle Ground

My babies turned 14 yesterday. 

My oldest son is 19. 

 

I wonder sometimes if I have been the best mother I could have been for them. 

I know I’m guilty of trying to make them perfect little followers. It all started when they were born, really. Clean little boys with cute clothes and perfect smiles. That might have worked perfectly when they were little.

No more.

I love the personalities they’ve developed over the years, in spite of me. Of course, each of them has different temperaments. They are more or less of many wonderful characteristics, and to say I’m proud of the men they are becoming doesn’t even touch the surface of how I feel. I love them so deeply, even more than I ever thought I would.

 

They aren’t perfect young men, but they are progressing.

I’m reading the book, “No More Perfect Kids,” and the resounding message is just that. Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch say this about perfection and failure: “However extremes aren’t where real life takes place. The middle ground of grace is where we need to plant ourselves and our kids. After all, progress is the goal. It’s not at all about being perfect but it is about being perfected by the God who has a plan for our lives.”

Progress.

I might, or might not (yeah, right!) put this pressure on myself. I mean, I’ve read “No More Perfect Moms,” too, and it did resonate very loudly with me. I realize that I am trying to perfect something in my life that is not where I really want to be. I have been beating my head against the wall to excel and move forward in something I don’t believe is my calling. I can tell you that it doesn’t work and tends to strip away hope from your life.

It can even make you feel like a failure.

I’ve been telling my oldest son to take a look at his gifts, talents, etc., and figure out what he wants to do with his life. In encouraging him to do that, I’ve also explored my own life. I went back to something I gave up on a long time ago… something that has given me great hope and excitement as I pursue it. We’ll see what doors are opened, and if they are closed, I’ll have to look at myself again. 

It’s funny how the everyday and mundane can zap the dreams and creativity that used to be present and exist so deeply in your heart and soul.

What will happen if you don’t take a chance? You’ll never know if you could have done it.

“Progress is the goal.”

Thank you for the reminder, Jill Savage, and Dr. Kathy. 

 

Perfection and the Truth

Reading some more of the book, No More Perfect Kids, there was a part that really stuck out for me.

Jill was writing about being able to take care of the physical pain of her children, but not being able to address their emotional pain, as she hasn’t always been able “to tend to my own emotional pain.”

I’m a counselor and sociologist at heart, so I want to know what makes people tick. I also want people to know that their lives can be changed for the better because I’m a living, breathing example of that. However, there were many years when I shoved my pain way down deep inside until it couldn’t be contained any longer.

Whether or not my parents had perfectionistic expectations of me, I saw them as such. I saw them never really accepting me for who I was, and nothing I did was ever good enough. Sometimes I still go back to that if I’m going to see them, but those times are lessening over the years.

I believe I wanted my kids to be perfect because I saw other mothers whose kids were. Of course, we all know that was just a lie because no one is perfect. But when you are getting up at 6am and shepherding 5 boys each morning, it can be exhausting. And when they don’t listen and/or argue, it’s a hundred times harder.

I was thinking about this, though. I know I wasn’t scared of having so many kids. I loved it! I felt so blessed, considering there was a possibility I couldn’t have ANY. And God gave me 5. I think the Endometriosis was an instrument, if you will, that was used to prevent me from having any children with my abusive first husband.

And then I was healed.

When Jesse and Isaac were only 3 months old, and all of my kids were 5 years old and under, I submitted a proposal to our pastor to start a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) program at church. And he approved it! So, I worked on getting the ladies for the Steering Team. I already had them in mind, so it wasn’t difficult. We went live with the group in August, just 2 months after submitting the proposal. And also in August, I began my job as Children’s Director (part-time) at church. And Noah started Kindergarten.

It sounds so crazy that I was so busy like that. But it was wonderful. Being on the Steering Team helped me see that we all have to work together in life, and you can never have too many people to love your kids. 

And keep you in check.

I also realized that the kids I thought were perfect… weren’t. And neither were their mothers.

And that fact was an awesome find.

(The grandparents of the boy on the right lived in our neighborhood, and he just wanted to be in the picture since he was at our house.)

 

A Great Weekend is Like a Breath of Fresh Air

My husband and I have had the best weekend.

Our 17 year-old-soon-to-be-18-year-old son asked if we would like to go with him and his girlfriend to see Winter’s Tale for Valentine’s Day. Of course, he doesn’t have a car and can’t drive… But we, of course, said yes. And his 19 year-old brother and his girlfriend went, too.

We had a wonderful time hanging out with these young men and their dates. 

 

We went to the early movie, and Jonah mentioned that Quik Trip would be a good place to get something to eat. So, there you go. Meanwhile, I was sitting in the Flex watching a full orange/red moon come up while Jim was putting the gas in.

 

The kids were like, "Ah, another picture????"

 

 (And the movie was fantastic, so go see it!)

 

My boys weren’t embarrassed to spend the night with their parents. And neither were their girls.

Isn’t that great?

We didn’t even get home until after midnight. Mom and Dad were a little exhausted, but it was definitely worth it.

Yesterday, we went to lunch with our friends. They only live an hour away, so we try to meet in the middle. Unfortunately, it’s been over a year since we’ve actually gone to lunch or dinner together! Time goes by in the blink of an eye, and that’s the only excuse I have.

Last night, Jim and I went to see Ragamuffin – The Rich Mullins film. It was very thought-provoking, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has heard of him or listened to any of Rich Mullins’ music. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but there are some elements that will pierce your soul (if you have one!).

I’ve had my share of rotten Valentine’s Days, but this one was very nice.