Reading
some more of the book, No More Perfect
Kids, there was a part that really stuck out for me.
Jill
was writing about being able to take care of the physical pain of her children,
but not being able to address their emotional pain, as she hasn’t always been
able “to tend to my own emotional pain.”
I’m
a counselor and sociologist at heart, so I want to know what makes people tick.
I also want people to know that their lives can be changed for the better
because I’m a living, breathing example of that. However, there were many years
when I shoved my pain way down deep inside until it couldn’t be contained any
longer.
Whether
or not my parents had perfectionistic expectations of me, I saw them as such. I
saw them never really accepting me for who I was, and nothing I did was ever
good enough. Sometimes I still go back to that if I’m going to see them, but
those times are lessening over the years.
I
believe I wanted my kids to be perfect because I saw other mothers whose kids
were. Of course, we all know that was just a lie because no one is perfect. But
when you are getting up at 6am and shepherding 5 boys each morning, it can be
exhausting. And when they don’t listen and/or argue, it’s a hundred times
harder.
I
was thinking about this, though. I know I wasn’t scared of having so many kids.
I loved it! I felt so blessed, considering there was a possibility I couldn’t
have ANY. And God gave me 5. I think the Endometriosis was an instrument, if
you will, that was used to prevent me from having any children with my abusive
first husband.
And
then I was healed.
When
Jesse and Isaac were only 3 months old, and all of my kids were 5 years old and under, I submitted a proposal to our pastor to
start a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) program at church. And he approved it!
So, I worked on getting the ladies for the Steering Team. I already had them in
mind, so it wasn’t difficult. We went live with the group in August, just 2
months after submitting the proposal. And also in August, I began my job as
Children’s Director (part-time) at church. And Noah started Kindergarten.
It
sounds so crazy that I was so busy like that. But it was wonderful. Being on
the Steering Team helped me see that we all have to work together in life, and
you can never have too many people to love your kids.
And keep you in check.
I
also realized that the kids I thought were perfect… weren’t. And neither were
their mothers.
And
that fact was an awesome find.
(The grandparents of the boy on the right lived in our neighborhood, and he just wanted to be in the picture since he was at our house.)
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