10 Years After the Kansas Flash Flood

Ten years ago today, a flash flood rushed through Jacob Creek, over I-35, the Kansas Turnpike, at mile marker 116 outside of Emporia. It swept away a wife and four children, leaving a husband and father to mourn the loss of his family. And even though he was grieving, he still praised God for His hand on his life.

You can read about Robert Rogers and his family at www.mightyintheland.com. He also wrote a book called, “Into the Deep.” (If you read the book, keep some tissues handy… you WILL cry.)

Thankfully, his story didn’t end there with tragedy. He was blessed with a new wife and four beautiful children.

I hope I never have to suffer such a loss… I don’t know if I could respond the way Robert did. I truly don’t know how anyone makes it through that type of loss.

His story has touched our lives in a very real and unique way, though we didn't know them personally.

Robert and his family had traveled to Wichita from the Kansas City area for a wedding. They went for the day, and they were on their way home when the flood waters washed their van off the highway.

That same day, we set out to Wichita from our home in Blue Springs, MO, a suburb of Kansas City. My brother and his wife were visiting from Phoenix with their three month-old daughter, and we were going to see them. When we got up that morning, it was raining very hard. Jim had just started a job at Quik Trip working overnights and was working part-time at a church. We knew we had to be at church the next morning, so the trip was only a quick one.

Jim was exhausted, so I drove the four hours it took to get to my parents’ house. He slept in the seat across from me, and I prayed the whole time. I had second thoughts about going on this trip the entire 210 miles because the rain was so treacherous. But we arrived at our destination safely and had a great day.

We decided earlier that we would leave to go home at 8:00 p.m. This was not negotiable because we had obligations the next day. In fact, we only took enough pull-ups for the day for our twins, and we took no other clothes at all… not even for the kids.

But as “fate” would have it, we were playing a family game and having so much fun, that we put off going home until 9:00 p.m. As we drove from Wichita on K-96 to the El Dorado turnpike entrance, the weather seemed to get a little better, though it the roads were still wet. When we arrived at the turnpike entrance gate, we were turned away. They said the roads were closed, and we wouldn’t be allowed to enter.

We weren’t sure what to do. We could drive two hours out of our way to I-70 and get home at 2:00 – 3:00 a.m., or we could go back to my parents and leave really early in the morning. We called Mom and Dad and decided to go back to their house, even though we didn’t have pajamas, toothbrushes, anything.

When we got there, our kids were worn out. Jim walked into the house with a sleeping Isaac in his arms. Mom said we were sleeping downstairs, so Jim walked over to the steps. And then something horrible happened. I was standing by the front door on my recovering sprained ankle, and when I watched Jim going to the stairs, I had a horrible sense that something bad was going to happen.

As Jim started down the stairs, he tripped. He fell down the stairs holding Isaac in his arms. My mother let out this horrible cry when she saw it happen… It was probably because she fell down the same stairs a year earlier and broke her ankle.

I started running over there as soon as I saw her face. Isaac’s head hit the wall, and Jim hit his back and couldn’t breathe. He was gasping for breath, and my sister-in-law was thinking clear enough to call 911.

It all happened so fast.

The EMT’s suggested strongly that we go to the hospital and get them checked. So, Dad took us to the emergency room, and they examined Isaac and Jim. Isaac was okay, but Jim injured his back. By the time we returned to my parents’ house, it was 3:30 a.m. Jim slept in my parents’ bed, and I stayed awake all night, making sure my little three-year old baby was okay.

In the morning, we knew we would not make it home in time for church, so we called to let them know. And then we found out what happened on the turnpike in the dark the night before. Almost immediately, we realized that if we would have left at 8:00 when had planned, it could have been us in that flood.

It could have been us.

I drove us home that morning, crying most of the way. My husband and baby fell down the stairs, but they were still alive. Thinking of the agony Robert was going through was almost too much to bear.

And I just kept thinking that it could have been us.

Every time I heard his name or saw his face for the next months, I teared up. I had a hard time talking about it, or even thinking about it, but I prayed for him almost every day. And then he spoke at our church, and we were privileged to meet him. When we shook hands, all I could do was cry while I was telling him we were 30 minutes behind his family on that same road that day.

He was very understanding and compassionate towards me. How ironic! He's the one who suffered the great loss.

But God had a great plan for Robert Rogers. He met a beautiful lady, and she became his wife. They have two sons and two daughters. And he IS a testimony of God’s faithfulness and mercy.

I am reminded of several of the verses in Lamentations 3.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” (vs. 22-24)

“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.” (vs. 31-33)

Ten years ago, my eyes were opened in a different way to how fleeting life can be. I watched a man choose to bless God, instead of curse him, for even the losses he suffered, and I had to wrestle with my own beliefs and suppositions. And through the years, I have found, that even in the heartbreaks and misfortunes of life, God CAN be trusted.

Just ask Robert and Inga Rogers!

And me.

Age is a Double-Edged Sword

Age is a double-edged sword.

When you’re a young person, you can’t wait to grow up.

I can’t wait to drive.

I can’t wait to date.

I can’t wait to graduate.

I can’t wait to be married.

I can’t wait to buy a house.

I can’t wait to have kids.

I can’t wait to have grandkids.

I can’t wait to die.

Wait! Does anyone really say that last statement?

Desiring to grow up when you’re young is normal. I have never known a child who says “I want to be a kid my whole life!” Though, as an adult, he/she may still act like a child, all the while thinking he is acting like an adult.

I am no different than anyone else. I wanted to grow up and be an adult; I really thought I could handle it. Being in charge of my own life, my own money, my own apartment, it sounded very alluring when I was a teenager. I was considerably mature, had some goals in life, and I thought I could handle it.

Then, Life came along and turned me upside down, shook me hard, and left me broken and bruised, lying on the ground. But I picked myself up, dusted (and dusted) myself off, and I’ve come a long way in those years. Every now and then, though, Life comes back and tries to discourage me again. I’ll admit that sometimes it does, but again, I pick myself up and shake off the dust.

I’m now 47 years old, soon to be 48, and I have discontinued the “I can’t wait” statements after I can’t wait to have kids. I know some people look forward to the next phase in life, having grandkids, but I’m still seated in the chair of wanting my own kids to stay kids, if only a little longer.

I don’t want them to make the same mistakes I did when I was young. I have found, however, that no matter how you might want it for them, they have minds of their own. And wills of their own. And lives of their own. And they have to live with the consequences of their own decisions while parents stand by and watch, wishing all the time that they would have listened to the wisdom that comes from those who have gone through these things before.

But why should we think they would be any different than we were at their age? Did we think Mom and Dad really had the answers to all of life’s questions?

While my parents were not perfect, they were right on many levels.

All I can hope is that someday, my kids, while contemplating the reasons their children do the things they do, look back and say that they learned from us in some fashion. Maybe they’ll wish they would have listened more. Maybe they’ll try to teach their kids not to wish their life away.

And hopefully, they will understand the love it takes to let someone go into this world and make their own mistakes… all the while, lifting them up to the only One who can save them.

"No More Perfect Homes" from "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

"More than anything, however, focus on the people living inside those walls. When you get right down to it, it's those flawed yet precious family relationships that make your house truly beautiful." - Jill Savage in "No More Perfect Moms"

I admit it. I'm not the best picker-upper. I used to be a total perfectionist because I believed I needed to be able to control everything in my life after getting out of an abusive relationship. Everything was perfect and in its place.

And I was alone... and lonely.

Then, when I was married again, I married a man who was the opposite of me. I had to compromise, but just a little bit. When I had one baby, I had to compromise a little more, but I was still able to hold it all together (seemingly). And then, I had another baby. And another. And then twins. In a five year time-span, I became a mother five times to five baby boys. And that was when I realized that I was not supermom, nor was I able to be a perfect housekeeper. In fact, I found that, the older the boys became, I didn't even want to do all the work. We were a family, and we began to function as a family that works together for the common good.

I taught my boys how to wash dishes and load the dishwasher. They learned how to clean their own bathroom and bedrooms. I gradually taught each of them how to wash their own laundry, folding it, hanging it up, and putting it away. And although none of them does it exactly how I do it, they have their own process, and that's okay. After all, we aren't raising children. We are trying to raise capable, dependable, responsible adults. I don't want them to be little boys their whole lives. Well, there is a part of me that is sad they are growing up way too fast, but I don't want them to be little boys in adult bodies. That wouldn't help them at all, and it would be ridiculous!

But we do have good relationships. We have not been blessed with an abundance of money, so we spend lots of time together in our living room - playing games, watching movies and TV, and talking. I think they all know they can talk to me and my husband about anything. If they are angry about something and maybe let something fly out of their mouths they shouldn't, we usually don't correct them. We let them say what they want, even if it's controversial to our belief system or feelings.

They need to learn to express themselves with confidence, and if they can't do it around family, where will they learn? From their friends who are also going through the same things? No, I would rather them be able to talk to us.

Our relationship with our kids is so important, and I'm grateful that God blessed my life with these wonderful sons. They aren't perfect, and neither am I. But we are learning how to relate to each other and build lasting love and respect for each other.

Our house will never look perfect, but I can live with it as long as I have the love of my family.

A Time to Dance - Karen Kingsbury

A Time to Dance is the first Karen Kingsbury book I have ever purchased. On a shopping trip to Mardel, I saw many of her books on the clearance shelves, and I looked through most of them, hoping to find a whole series of books I could read. This was the only series that was in the clearance area, so I also purchased A Time to Embrace, which is the other book in the Timeless Love Series.

The truth is I have not been a fan of fiction for most of my adult life, though I loved it as a kid. However, I have heard many wonderful things about her books for so long, I decided to give it a try. I was so glad that I did. I really liked this book for many reasons.

Being married to a teacher, I found myself drawn to the John and Abby Reynolds family. They were a compelling group, and the stories that took place with this family were interesting and believable. Unfortunately, some of the topics, mostly the infidelity, riddle our world right now, tearing apart families and hearts. I found myself empathizing with both John and Abby in their situation.

This book hits a certain place of the heart where the reader may begin to think back to the days where she first met her mate, the anticipation, the memories… And it can cause her be thankful for all they have been through.

While this book may be considered fiction, I think it probably happens every day with your neighbors, your brothers and sisters, anyone who loses sight of the important things. It’s a good reminder to be grateful for the relationships you have in your life.

I like it when fiction crosses into believable, and I look forward to reading A Time to Embrace. Then, who knows? I may move onto another Karen Kingsbury series.

Love & War - Devotional for Couples (John and Stasi Eldridge)

Because of what my husband and I have gone through in our 20 years together, I like reading marriage books.  I like to know what other couples are saying about the good times as well as the not-so-good times.  John and Stasi Eldridge’s “Love & War Devotional for Couples” is a great resource for any couple at any stage of marriage.  It holds eight weeks of daily devotions for growing and reflection in marriage.  Each week is a new subject, like Remembering What We Wanted and Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy.  While these seem like things we should always remember, sometimes it takes seeing them on a printed page for them to make the connection in our brain.  In the week entitled Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy, we are reminded that we are supposed to be fighting FOR each other, not fighting WITH each other. There are relevant Bible verses throughout the book and prayers at the end of each day’s reading.  The Eldridge’s are well-spoken and heart-felt authors, and this book would be a great tool for any marriage in any season.  It would be a great wedding present, counseling tool, or anniversary gift.  It would also be a fantastic addition to your personal library.  I’m grateful to have this book, and I fully expect that I will use it in my marriage.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Love At Last Sight - Kerry and Chris Shook

As you know by now, I love to read.  I'm not much for fiction, but these real stories really get to me.  When I initially looked at this book to review, I thought it would be about marriage.  I was surprised to find out it was not only about marriage but about the most important relationships in our lives.  Honestly, who wouldn't benefit from making our relationships better?

I think anyone and everyone could benefit from reading this book.  It is practical in its application, gives many scriptural references and asks tough questions that people really need to think about.

It is made to be used for a four-week (thirty-day) study, and the chapters are relevant to real life.  The weeks are broken up this way: The Art of Being All There, The Art of Acting Intentionally, The Art of Risking Awkwardness, and the Art of Letting Go. And then there are daily readings and questions/Challenges.  Not only did I appreciate these subjects that were presented in the book, I appreciated the quotes that were given throughout.  For instance, "If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill" (p.105).  And "Be willing to be uncomfortable.  Be comfortable being uncomfortable.  It may get tough, but it's a small price to pay for living a dream. Peter McWilliams" (p.119).  These quotes may seem insignificant or small to some, but to me, they were right on target with life.

I did not use this book as the thirty-day study, but I am seriously considering it.  Who wouldn't want to make their relationships better?  I know I do.  I think we all have a lot of work to do inside our most intimate relationships, and Love At Last Sight gives great tools and information that is useful in everyday life.  I would definitely recommend this book to anyone.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.