"No More Perfect Homes" from "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

"More than anything, however, focus on the people living inside those walls. When you get right down to it, it's those flawed yet precious family relationships that make your house truly beautiful." - Jill Savage in "No More Perfect Moms"

I admit it. I'm not the best picker-upper. I used to be a total perfectionist because I believed I needed to be able to control everything in my life after getting out of an abusive relationship. Everything was perfect and in its place.

And I was alone... and lonely.

Then, when I was married again, I married a man who was the opposite of me. I had to compromise, but just a little bit. When I had one baby, I had to compromise a little more, but I was still able to hold it all together (seemingly). And then, I had another baby. And another. And then twins. In a five year time-span, I became a mother five times to five baby boys. And that was when I realized that I was not supermom, nor was I able to be a perfect housekeeper. In fact, I found that, the older the boys became, I didn't even want to do all the work. We were a family, and we began to function as a family that works together for the common good.

I taught my boys how to wash dishes and load the dishwasher. They learned how to clean their own bathroom and bedrooms. I gradually taught each of them how to wash their own laundry, folding it, hanging it up, and putting it away. And although none of them does it exactly how I do it, they have their own process, and that's okay. After all, we aren't raising children. We are trying to raise capable, dependable, responsible adults. I don't want them to be little boys their whole lives. Well, there is a part of me that is sad they are growing up way too fast, but I don't want them to be little boys in adult bodies. That wouldn't help them at all, and it would be ridiculous!

But we do have good relationships. We have not been blessed with an abundance of money, so we spend lots of time together in our living room - playing games, watching movies and TV, and talking. I think they all know they can talk to me and my husband about anything. If they are angry about something and maybe let something fly out of their mouths they shouldn't, we usually don't correct them. We let them say what they want, even if it's controversial to our belief system or feelings.

They need to learn to express themselves with confidence, and if they can't do it around family, where will they learn? From their friends who are also going through the same things? No, I would rather them be able to talk to us.

Our relationship with our kids is so important, and I'm grateful that God blessed my life with these wonderful sons. They aren't perfect, and neither am I. But we are learning how to relate to each other and build lasting love and respect for each other.

Our house will never look perfect, but I can live with it as long as I have the love of my family.

"Weird" (is a compliment) - Craig Groeschel

There is no doubt about it.  I’m weird.  And not in a bad way.

I have been reading Craig Groeschel’s book, “Weird” this week.  There are countless points to this book, so many that if I wrote them all down, I would be rewriting the whole book.  So, I will give some highlights.

He creates this book about five important subjects and breaks them down.  They are Time, Money, Relationships, Sex and Values.  I discovered good advice in each of these sections.

In the chapters about Time, he urges us to make time for those who matter most to us.  He gives some examples about his own family, and his kids who obviously think he’s “all that,” and want to be with him.  Wrestling, eating Oreos, playing Go Fish, and says this.  “Wherever you are, be all there” (p.39).  And this… “Extreme measures bring extreme results” (p.59).  If we are to change the course of our habits, we have to take extreme measures to do so.  And yes, while we may be called weird by the world’s standards, that narrow path, what may be called weird, is the path that leads to God.

Regarding Money, he gives an example of two families.  One family has everything money can buy, but they are empty inside.  Another family doesn’t have much in the way of material possessions, but their house is warm and inviting.  “They’re not just family; they actually seem to enjoy each other – to want to be around one another and share things together” (p.83).  He goes on to say that you can be yourself there, accidently spill without consequence, and there is peace.

This is the chapter that spoke to me the most.  In this day of “Gotta have this, gotta have that,” people buy things they cannot afford.  Maybe the key is to live within your means.  Our family does not have much in the way of material possessions.  However, we make the most of what we do have.  Our boys like being with us.  In fact, given the choice of being in their rooms or being out in the living room with all of us together, they choose the living room every time.  Does that mean we don’t have arguments and get along all the time?  No, it doesn’t.  But it does mean that we spend time together, and all of us enjoy it.  So, call me weird that I’m not out chasing after monetary fantasies, but that’s okay.  The people who live with me are the most important to me, after Jesus, of course.

I especially liked the way he told the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah in the chapter on Relationships.  This story is so dramatic, and the fact that it’s true even makes it more interesting.  He says that the “transactional attitude” is prevalent in the lives of many couples today (p.108).  If we are honest in our assessment of our marriages, we would probably say that we understand that concept and have maybe even employed it.  This only leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction (p.109).

The chapter on Sex was very interesting.  “According to the Journal of Psychology and Christianity, up to 65 percent of husbands and 55 percent of wives will commit adultery by the age of forty” (p.146).  That broke my heart.  He gave this advice. “When the grass starts to look greener somewhere else, water your own yard!” (p.154)  What a concept!

While raising five boys, talking about sex has become a normal practice in our home.  We try to make our environment a place where our kids can come to us about anything, and they do.  Craig advises us to seek God and His word about sex.  The Bible warns against sexual sin because it’s the only sin that we commit against ourselves (1 Corinthians 6:18 – “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sin sexually sins against his own body.”)  And God tells us to flee.  It is the only sin that He tells us to flee from.  He gives some practical guidance to keep sexually pure, a couple of which are these.  “Avoid dangerous places” (p.170), and “Guard your eyes, your mind, and your heart (p.171).

The last chapter is Values.  He tells a story about playing in the ocean and drifting away from the beach house ever so slightly that by the time they realized the house was gone, they didn’t really know exactly where they were.  How many times do we live our lives caught in that type of trap?  We are not intentional with our lives, and we end up someplace we never knew was there and have to go into reverse to get on course again.

As with the other books of Craig Groeschel’s that I have read, I found this book to encouraging, insightful, honest and practical in its application.  It points you straight to the Living God who desires to have a relationship with you.  I’m a little disappointed that I’ve already finished reading it.  I may actually start at page 1 again and take some time to contemplate it more.

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone.  In fact, my sixteen year-old is already committing to reading it.  Maybe it will help him in practical ways, too.

Love At Last Sight - Kerry and Chris Shook

As you know by now, I love to read.  I'm not much for fiction, but these real stories really get to me.  When I initially looked at this book to review, I thought it would be about marriage.  I was surprised to find out it was not only about marriage but about the most important relationships in our lives.  Honestly, who wouldn't benefit from making our relationships better?

I think anyone and everyone could benefit from reading this book.  It is practical in its application, gives many scriptural references and asks tough questions that people really need to think about.

It is made to be used for a four-week (thirty-day) study, and the chapters are relevant to real life.  The weeks are broken up this way: The Art of Being All There, The Art of Acting Intentionally, The Art of Risking Awkwardness, and the Art of Letting Go. And then there are daily readings and questions/Challenges.  Not only did I appreciate these subjects that were presented in the book, I appreciated the quotes that were given throughout.  For instance, "If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill" (p.105).  And "Be willing to be uncomfortable.  Be comfortable being uncomfortable.  It may get tough, but it's a small price to pay for living a dream. Peter McWilliams" (p.119).  These quotes may seem insignificant or small to some, but to me, they were right on target with life.

I did not use this book as the thirty-day study, but I am seriously considering it.  Who wouldn't want to make their relationships better?  I know I do.  I think we all have a lot of work to do inside our most intimate relationships, and Love At Last Sight gives great tools and information that is useful in everyday life.  I would definitely recommend this book to anyone.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.