"No More Perfect Homes" from "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

"More than anything, however, focus on the people living inside those walls. When you get right down to it, it's those flawed yet precious family relationships that make your house truly beautiful." - Jill Savage in "No More Perfect Moms"

I admit it. I'm not the best picker-upper. I used to be a total perfectionist because I believed I needed to be able to control everything in my life after getting out of an abusive relationship. Everything was perfect and in its place.

And I was alone... and lonely.

Then, when I was married again, I married a man who was the opposite of me. I had to compromise, but just a little bit. When I had one baby, I had to compromise a little more, but I was still able to hold it all together (seemingly). And then, I had another baby. And another. And then twins. In a five year time-span, I became a mother five times to five baby boys. And that was when I realized that I was not supermom, nor was I able to be a perfect housekeeper. In fact, I found that, the older the boys became, I didn't even want to do all the work. We were a family, and we began to function as a family that works together for the common good.

I taught my boys how to wash dishes and load the dishwasher. They learned how to clean their own bathroom and bedrooms. I gradually taught each of them how to wash their own laundry, folding it, hanging it up, and putting it away. And although none of them does it exactly how I do it, they have their own process, and that's okay. After all, we aren't raising children. We are trying to raise capable, dependable, responsible adults. I don't want them to be little boys their whole lives. Well, there is a part of me that is sad they are growing up way too fast, but I don't want them to be little boys in adult bodies. That wouldn't help them at all, and it would be ridiculous!

But we do have good relationships. We have not been blessed with an abundance of money, so we spend lots of time together in our living room - playing games, watching movies and TV, and talking. I think they all know they can talk to me and my husband about anything. If they are angry about something and maybe let something fly out of their mouths they shouldn't, we usually don't correct them. We let them say what they want, even if it's controversial to our belief system or feelings.

They need to learn to express themselves with confidence, and if they can't do it around family, where will they learn? From their friends who are also going through the same things? No, I would rather them be able to talk to us.

Our relationship with our kids is so important, and I'm grateful that God blessed my life with these wonderful sons. They aren't perfect, and neither am I. But we are learning how to relate to each other and build lasting love and respect for each other.

Our house will never look perfect, but I can live with it as long as I have the love of my family.

A New Endeavor - "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

So, I have been subscribing to Jill Savage's blog, www.hearts-at-home.org. I knew she was writing a new book called "No More Perfect Moms," and I was totally interested in it. You see, I sometimes lean towards being a perfectionist. Fortunately, I married a man who is the opposite, and over our almost 22 years together, I have become more like him, as he has become more like me. But where being a mother is concerned, it's tough.

If we are honest, all of us mothers wish we were perfect. We wish we had a hot dinner on the table every night, all of the laundry was totally done all the time, our house smelled like chocolate chip cookies everyday, and there were no fights... or yelling. But that isn't reality!

Back to my story... After writing a response to one of Jill's blog posts, she asked if they could use it for the website, and I was very honored. Then, I found out they were choosing a launch team for the book, "No More Perfect Moms," and I really wanted to do it. I filled out the application, and I was chosen! Talk about a blessing!

Those of us on the launch team have the opportunity to read it now, and let me tell you, it's fantastic. It has made me look at myself in a different way so far, and I'm only half-way finished with it!

If you find yourself trying to be perfect, wishing you were perfect, or trying to make things perfect, I would suggest reading this book when it comes out in bookstores. You can find out lots of information on Jill's website, again, www.hearts-at-home.org. There you can sign up for the e-newsletter, find out about the No More Perfect Moms 2013 National Conference, and get great encouragement for your life.

I'll be writing about my experience with reading this book, so stay tuned!

Happy Mother's Day - A Little Late

I went to the library last week, and I couldn't find much I was interesting in reading.  I finally found two books that I left with that day.  I started reading both them, but I have read more of one.  It is by T.D. Jakes and is called Mama Made the Difference.  

Like many other women, lots of them, I'm guessing, I deal with the perpetual struggle of needing more income and not knowing what to do.  Even though my kids are in school, I like being here at home in case they need me.  I have worked on and off during the years, but I have carried guilt with both staying home and working.  Maybe it's because I don't think I'm good at dividing my time evenly.  Maybe it's because I know life is sooooo short, and my kids are growing up.  They won't be living with me forever, and I feel that I need to be there as much as I can while they are.

He says on page 3, "You see, I've witnessed a growing apathy toward motherhood.  With all of our many advances in technology and corporate culture, women are now expected to excel in the boardroom as well as the kitchen.  The woman who doesn't wish to work outside her home is often looked down upon as being old-fashioned or incapable of the immense juggling act that her sisters enact around her."  And a little further down, he states, "Women should not have to apologize for being mothers." 

Thank you, Bishop Jakes!

I love being a mother.  It's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  I may not be perfect, but God doesn't chose perfect women to be mothers.  He chooses us because we are the best fit for the children He gives us.  He believes that we can do it!


We have had our share of problems, well, maybe I should call them "opportunities," with our children lately.  I have started to wonder whether God knew what He was doing when He gave them to me.  I don't have the answers sometimes.  Sometimes, I cry because I'm so frustrated that I just don't know what to do. Sometimes, I hear a voice in my ear that tells me I am a failure.  Most of the time, I choose not to believe it, but there are sometimes when I am not feeling well, emotionally or physically, that I start to lean towards believing it.  I hate that!


But I know this!  Mothers are important! 

I will write more as I get through this book.  So far, I think it's great and encouraging.