"No More Perfect Moms" Book Review

I finished the book! As with any ending, it was sad and exhilarating at the same time. I would certainly recommend buying this book when you can. If you purchase from February 4th - 9th, there will be a great promotion going on!

I have placed my review for the book on three sites, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Christian Book. Here it is:


"As a mom of five boys, I’m always looking for resources on raising kids. I love to read, and I have all kinds of books on kids and marriage. Even though they are wonderful, what I really need is something to help me, personally, as a woman.

Jill Savage’s new book, “No More Perfect Moms – Learning to Love Your Real Life” is just the “medicine” for mothers who feel that they “have to be” perfect and might be discouraged when they aren’t. Jill is a mother, herself, so she has experience, and that even makes the ideas in this book more authentic and beneficial to the reader. She encourages the reader to step away from trying to be perfect, and step towards being real. She addresses many subjects where we tend to expect perfectionism; our bodies, marriages, kids, homes, homemaking, and everyday life.

This is an awesome book! It reminded me that, in expecting perfection from myself, I also expected it from other people (my family included), and that places expectations on others they just cannot live up to. Savage ties it all together with a chapter about our perfect God, and a great appendix on “Where to Find Help When Feeling…”

I would certainly recommend this book to any and every woman. I think it’s great to read alone, and it would also be excellent as part of a book club, or Bible study group. It’s helped me look at things differently, and has been very inspiring and positive."

Being on the launch team, I was given an autographed copy of the book, and it's so awesome that Jill took the time to sign them all, to personalize them for each of us. Even though I read the book online, I still plan on sitting down with the hard copy in my hands and reading it again.  

Jill Savage is the real deal! I would encourage you to go over to her website at: http://www.hearts-at-home.org. You will find encouragement!

I'm Not Perfect

If you haven't seen my previous posts, I have been blessed to be a part the launch team for Jill Savage's new book, "No More Perfect Moms."

In reading the book, and being on the launch team, something unexpected has happened: I'm finding I'm not alone in my mom-wife-journey. And that has been so wonderful. I have met some of the neatest women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. We are on this journey together, and that is really very comforting, even if we only "know" each other by blogging and facebook.

When I was married to my first husband, who was violent and abused me, I learned to put on a happy face. I didn't disclose to anyone what was really going on behind closed doors. I am sure that my friends and family knew violence was happening, but I never talked about it. I did, however, try to act like everything was fine... all the time. Even through the tears, bruises, bodily and emotional harm... and crushed spirit. I said and tried to act like all was still fine, and everything was going great!

I learned that when I started facing the truth, my life began to unravel. I didn't understand that it had to unravel in order for God to repair the damage that had been done for so long.

Even after getting married again to a great guy, and turning back to Jesus, I took all of my baggage into that relationship. Jim hauled some in, too, and we were a mess. For our first 2-1/2 years of being together, our friends didn't know if we were together, or split up each time we saw them. I couldn't figure out why we just couldn't make it work.

It was because I had unrealistic expectations. And so did he.

We've come a long way in almost 22 years. But we still succumb to unrealistic expectations.

You see, one of my struggles is placing unrealistic expectations on myself. In doing so, I also place those expectations on other people, too, especially to those who are closest to me. When they don't live up to them, I am sorely disappointed and wonder if it's something I have done, didn't do, should have done, etc. Being a mom, it's probably natural to expect that I am responsible for everything my kids do, or don't do. But I'm finding, albeit gradually, that my kids have wills of their own. They might decide to make mistakes that I wish they wouldn't. As much as we can "control" them when they are young, as they get older, they may not do things the way we wish they would.

Ouch.

I made so many mistakes in my young adult life, and I have prayed all these years that my boys would listen to me, heed my warnings, and not feel that they have to make the same mistakes. I have found that isn't the way things are in the "real" world. I was hardheaded and made some stupid decisions, so why would I expect they wouldn't be the same?

I am the first to admit I have a long way to go. And I'm grateful for my family who quickly forgives when I'm not perfect. I just need to work on forgiving myself, too.

"No More Perfect Homes" from "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

"More than anything, however, focus on the people living inside those walls. When you get right down to it, it's those flawed yet precious family relationships that make your house truly beautiful." - Jill Savage in "No More Perfect Moms"

I admit it. I'm not the best picker-upper. I used to be a total perfectionist because I believed I needed to be able to control everything in my life after getting out of an abusive relationship. Everything was perfect and in its place.

And I was alone... and lonely.

Then, when I was married again, I married a man who was the opposite of me. I had to compromise, but just a little bit. When I had one baby, I had to compromise a little more, but I was still able to hold it all together (seemingly). And then, I had another baby. And another. And then twins. In a five year time-span, I became a mother five times to five baby boys. And that was when I realized that I was not supermom, nor was I able to be a perfect housekeeper. In fact, I found that, the older the boys became, I didn't even want to do all the work. We were a family, and we began to function as a family that works together for the common good.

I taught my boys how to wash dishes and load the dishwasher. They learned how to clean their own bathroom and bedrooms. I gradually taught each of them how to wash their own laundry, folding it, hanging it up, and putting it away. And although none of them does it exactly how I do it, they have their own process, and that's okay. After all, we aren't raising children. We are trying to raise capable, dependable, responsible adults. I don't want them to be little boys their whole lives. Well, there is a part of me that is sad they are growing up way too fast, but I don't want them to be little boys in adult bodies. That wouldn't help them at all, and it would be ridiculous!

But we do have good relationships. We have not been blessed with an abundance of money, so we spend lots of time together in our living room - playing games, watching movies and TV, and talking. I think they all know they can talk to me and my husband about anything. If they are angry about something and maybe let something fly out of their mouths they shouldn't, we usually don't correct them. We let them say what they want, even if it's controversial to our belief system or feelings.

They need to learn to express themselves with confidence, and if they can't do it around family, where will they learn? From their friends who are also going through the same things? No, I would rather them be able to talk to us.

Our relationship with our kids is so important, and I'm grateful that God blessed my life with these wonderful sons. They aren't perfect, and neither am I. But we are learning how to relate to each other and build lasting love and respect for each other.

Our house will never look perfect, but I can live with it as long as I have the love of my family.

A New Endeavor - "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage

So, I have been subscribing to Jill Savage's blog, www.hearts-at-home.org. I knew she was writing a new book called "No More Perfect Moms," and I was totally interested in it. You see, I sometimes lean towards being a perfectionist. Fortunately, I married a man who is the opposite, and over our almost 22 years together, I have become more like him, as he has become more like me. But where being a mother is concerned, it's tough.

If we are honest, all of us mothers wish we were perfect. We wish we had a hot dinner on the table every night, all of the laundry was totally done all the time, our house smelled like chocolate chip cookies everyday, and there were no fights... or yelling. But that isn't reality!

Back to my story... After writing a response to one of Jill's blog posts, she asked if they could use it for the website, and I was very honored. Then, I found out they were choosing a launch team for the book, "No More Perfect Moms," and I really wanted to do it. I filled out the application, and I was chosen! Talk about a blessing!

Those of us on the launch team have the opportunity to read it now, and let me tell you, it's fantastic. It has made me look at myself in a different way so far, and I'm only half-way finished with it!

If you find yourself trying to be perfect, wishing you were perfect, or trying to make things perfect, I would suggest reading this book when it comes out in bookstores. You can find out lots of information on Jill's website, again, www.hearts-at-home.org. There you can sign up for the e-newsletter, find out about the No More Perfect Moms 2013 National Conference, and get great encouragement for your life.

I'll be writing about my experience with reading this book, so stay tuned!

A Time to Embrace - Karen Kingsbury

I recently read A Time to Embrace, by Karen Kingsbury. It is the second part of the series called Timeless Love Series.

The story of Abby and John Reynolds and their family continues throughout many stressful and difficult situations. The fact that they are still together after the first book is encouraging, even though they had been through so many things that could cause many marriages to fall apart.

Kingsbury reaches into the hearts of these characters and makes them very real. Her style of writing goes into the hearts of readers, too, and found myself teary several times. The Reynolds family could be any family, and I venture to say that it felt they were part of my own family after reading these books.

These two books are the first I have read by Karen Kingsbury, and I say they won’t be the last.

(image from www.amazon.com)

The Girl's Still Got It - Liz Curtis Higgs

I loved, loved, loved this book by Liz Curtis Higgs! She is a great storyteller anyway, but then add that fact to the story of Naomi, Ruth and Boaz… I read the online version of this book, and I was just blown away.

We have read the book of Ruth, but for Higgs to add comments, many humorous, and details about what might have, and maybe was happening around the story was just fascinating. It was thought-provoking, interesting, and this book caused the story to come alive, more so than any other review and/or commentary on the book of Ruth that I’ve seen. Sometimes I think we read about these people in the Bible, and we forget they are people, just like us.

I couldn’t even stop reading once I started, and I finished it in one evening. It would be great for a Bible study or book club, as it provides many stimulating aspects of the story. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this story of love and redemption in the Old Testament book of Ruth.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Quiet - Susan Cain

The book, Quiet, by Susan Cain, is a very interesting book.

While I enjoyed reading about the concepts of “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” I found my mind wandering when I didn’t necessarily understand some of the points. I did learn, however, that while some people can be considered extroverts because they get along well with others and seem to enjoy being in a crowd, they could actually be introverts. For instance, Cain writes that some consider introverts to be shy, but they aren’t necessarily.

This book is good to read if you are trying to know yourself better, and if  you are able get through the somewhat tedious language (at times).

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.